Recalled to Life
by CloZack PASSION
Summary: How do you leave the past behind, when it keeps finding ways to get to your heart? [PostDoC, YAOI CloudxZack. M for language and adult situations. FINAL CHAPTER IS UP!]
1. Discovery

((As it would turn out, the fic everyone seemed to love the most was "Christmas Day in the Morning". I loved writing it, too, and especially with the pairing. CloudxZack has effectively become my favorite couple in all of gaming. .'' Pretty bad for someone with the name "CloTi4ever", right? It has made me make up my mind when it comes to the direction I'll be taking "Alpha" in.

**About this story:** This started out as being entirely AU. HOWEVER, I decided I'd rather try and do a revival fic. Don't shoot me, please. DX Here's the make-up: 10 buttsecks, 10 Angst, 75 fluff, 5 cheese. All likely to change…but I promise there will be makings of the love. I promise.))

"Impossible." Was the word that escaped Reeve Tuesti's lips as he surveyed the room into which he was just lead. How had this gone unnoticed for so long? A laboratory of sorts, lined with the mako chambers once characteristic of Shinra's work. Such use of mako was no strictly prohibited, but it made little difference to whoever had been working this lab.

The WRO squad who stumbled upon this particular previously undiscovered niche in the Deepground facilities took out the scientists working it without a second thought. Reeve found himself torn. Would the same have happened to him had he not turned on Shinra years ago? He shook the idea from his head. There were far more important matters at hand than his own possible fate.

For the most part, the chambers were dimmed and empty. One in a corner held an orb of material, which would be removed and analyzed later. This wasn't the important part either. The important part about this lab was the fourth of seven containment units lined on the left-hand wall. His jaw nearly dropped when he recognized the form floating in the green ooze- a single human, left preserved perfectly for god knows how long in the chamber.

As he approached, the form took a more defined shape. This particular man, he knew. Not personally, but well enough to recognize the name scribbled on the chart next to the tank: '_Fair, Zackary'_

"Jesus Christ." Reeve muttered, eyes widening as he looked at the man again. His nude form was perfectly chiseled and fit; this much was obvious even through the thick, noxious liquid. The Soldier's raven hair filled much of the area surrounding him, having grown long since he was first placed within the chamber. This was the only remarkable change Reeve could discern between the man before him, trapped in the mako-induced coma, and the one who'd picture he recognized from files concerning the Jenova and Genesis projects.

"Holy shit…" one of the soldier's who'd helped clear the lab approached behind him now, "…is he _alive?_" He asked, looking him over. Reeve ignored the question, his mind racing with a million thoughts.

"Get me Strife." He commanded, his voice low, "Tell him it's urgent. Tell him he better get his ass here _now_…" Reeve's tone was distant but firm and the soldier saluted him before dashing off in search of a phone.

It was now that the young warrior's question reached his mind. Was this man even alive? He looked over the chamber again, noting now a sliding silver panel on the left side. Two unlabeled screens provided what he assumed were record of the man's vital signs. The enigmatic numbers and constantly spiking lines meant nothing to him.

"Hey, Private!" he called, summoning over another young man. His subordinate responded with a loud 'sir' and salute.

"Get a doctor down here, ASAP." Reeve commanded, examining the panel further. There were a number of dials and buttons, none of which made any sense to the WRO leader. He recognized almost immediately, though, what would be of the utmost importance soon- a keyhole with a bright red label to the side reading '_Emergency Release_'. If only he knew where to find the key.

"Where are the bodies?" he asked the room's last remaining guard.

"Out in the hall, sir. Someone should be on their way to get them soon." Reeve bolted out the door to find what appeared to be two piles of bloodied sheets. He knew all too well the destruction his men could wreak, especially when caught off-guard. It took him everything he had to fight waves of nausea as he ripped the coverings from the first body.

He ravaged through the pockets, eyes watering badly.

"Sir, what are you looking for?" the guard asked, joining him in the hall.

"A key. There's a key on one of them, I'm sure. Check the other body, would ya?" Reeve asked, groping through each of the dead scientist's coat pockets. Pens, flashlights, pencils, erasers, and medical utensils…everything but a key seemed to be hidden within.

"Sir!" Reeve looked up quickly to find two sets of good news- a key of rings dangling from the MP's finger and Cloud Strife hurdling down the hall.

"Yes!" he grinned, catching the ring as the boy tossed them over, "Cloud! You're here!" he must have been working nearby, thankfully enough, and made it in record time.

"Care telling me what the hell's going on that's so urgent?" The ex-Soldier demanded, crossing his arms. _'Impatient as always'_ Reeve thought to himself.

"We've found something that I believe might be of interest to you." He said carefully, a smile twisting at his lips.

"So out with it." It was obvious Cloud wasn't in the mood for his games today.

"Follow me." Reeve instructed, leading him through the nearby door to the newly discovered laboratory. Cloud couldn't stop from shuddering when he entered the room. Mako chambers lined the place, bringing back any number of half-forgotten hellish nightmares.

"If your plan was to make me relive my worst moments, you've succeeded. Can I go now?" he growled, eyes narrowing on Reeve. For obvious reasons, this was his least trustworthy of companions.

"Not just yet. I haven't shown you what I really think you'll be interested in. Follow me." He said, leading to the far wall on the left. He stopped in front of the occupied chamber, then stepped aside, "Take a look." He urged.

Cloud was hesitant, looking at Reeve again. He realized at once that there was a man in this tank. What interest was this to him? Other than sending a chill down his spine, it had little to do with him. At least this was his line of thinking until he stood inches away from the cold plastic and steel. His heart froze, eyes going wide. This was impossible. Utterly impossible!

"….Zack!?" he croaked upon finding his voice. He hardly bothered trying to fight the tears on his eyes as he pressed his hands to the glass. "ZACK!" he repeated, but to no avail. The man floated all the same, lifeless, without notice of his friend's desperate pleas.

"We have to get him out!" Cloud yelled, turning to Reeve and grabbing his arm.

"There's a release switch…we just need to find which key." The older man explained, holding out the keys. Cloud snatched them without another word, trying the force them into the whole one after another.

"Reeve? The doc you ordered is here…" the meek man who had found the keys called out to his boss. Reeve headed out, leaving Cloud to work on the keys.

Cloud's vision was becoming blurred with tears as he tried key after key, each wrong fit taking another toll on his newfound hope.

"Hang in there, bro…" Cloud begged, urgency in his voice. His fingers trembled as he grabbed the second to last key. He pushed the key in and, to his surprise, it fit perfectly. "Yes…YES." He laughed a little, twisting the key. The buzzing light flashed red now and Cloud watched as, slowly, the liquid draining through the bottom of the tube. As the last bits of liquid swirled downward, the light turned green and the door to the chamber slid open.

"Zack!" Cloud repeated again, taking his unconscious friend into his arms and helping lay his naked body down across the cold tile floor, "Reeve!" he cried, "Reeve he's out…we need help!"

Reeve was quick to his side, as was the doctor he'd brought along with him.

"Get him on the table." The young female doctor commanded, gesturing to a steel countertop-like protrusion on the opposite wall. Cloud obeyed instantly, hoisting his former best friend into his arms and struggling with the dead weight to get him to the surface.

"Now give me some room." She commanded, forcing Cloud and Reeve to back off towards the middle of the room. Reeve headed for the hallway, quick on his phone. Cloud on the other hand paced about, watching as the doctor began her thorough examination of his friend.

"What's wrong? Is he…is he gonna? Will he be?" Cloud's words spilled from his mouth the moment the doctor turned away from his friend's body. The color had drained from his face and fear ruled his system.

"You were in Soldier, am I correct?" the woman asked, her voice relatively emotionless. Cloud simply nodded in response, "then you should know the effects of prolonged mako exposure. Interestingly enough, his body seems well-preserved and relatively unharmed physically…" her words blurred together in his mind, the fear still searching for the bad news, ignoring this if it was in fact good, "…heart is in remarkable condition, steady breathing, regular pulse…" her voice went on until Cloud finally interrupted,

"Will you just tell me if he's gonna be okay!?" he demanded, fire in his blue eyes. The woman laughed slightly, a more kind tone in her voice as she spoke now.

"If you're asking, will he survive, the answer is yes. Even consciousness is probably not far off, assuming Reeve's notation of his ranking in Soldier was correct." Cloud nodded quickly, searching for more information, "However…" she paused, letting him brace himself. There was always a 'but'. It could never be that simple, "…mako does have some pretty strong side effects. Possible loss of short-term memory, dizziness, disorientation, weakness in muscles…" the list went on, though none of the effects sounded terrible enough to break the smile forming at Cloud's lips, "with rest and a little rehabilitation, though, all you really need to worry about is getting him up to date with everything he's missed."

Cloud stopped smiling now. Zack must have been in the chamber for at least three years, probably closer to four. How much had the world changed since he'd been 'dead'? How the hell would he ever be able to explain just what everyone had gone through in those past years? He shook his head clear of the thoughts as Reeve approached his side.

"I've made arrangements for him to be transported to Edge's hospital." He explained, looking over at the man who lay, apparently lifeless, on the table across from them, "They'll be able to take care of him well. They have a lot of experience with this type… many of them came from Mideel." Cloud just nodded, not speaking. A thought had entered his mind and, as often would happen, rooted itself so deeply that he was now sure of its truth.

What if Zack didn't remember him at all? What if the parts of his past in which Cloud played a role had disappeared? Or, worse yet, what if the parts Cloud remembered most fondly never existed at all?

These thoughts were all it took to tear the man away from the room and out of the building.


	2. Reunion

((Nyah. I hope you guys don't hate me TOO much for continuing this fic before Alpha. Then again, I'm not sure my fans carry over since this is CloZack and the other CloTi. For whatever reason, I'm on a huge yaoi phase and am really in no mood to do the CloTi fic at all. Maybe I'll just change the pairings over there a bit. Anyway, thank everyone across all the sites I posted this on. Your suggestions have helped mucho. Anyways, here comes chapter two! (I'll try to keep Cloud more in character!) PS: I more or less stole the scene between Cloud and Zack from Xiaa's amazing comic, "Lost". :P Let's hope she doesn't notice, yes?))

Cloud's head throbbed painfully as lay scrunched on one of the small couches in Edge Hospital's ICU waiting room. How long had he been awake now? Sleep had come slowly over the past few days...that is when it was kind enough to visit him at all. With his recent insomnia and Reeve's discovery what must have been half a day before by now, he wondered what made him think he'd get a wink tonight.

Reeve was kind enough not to ask questions when he found Cloud hunched in a hall, knees pulled to his chest, head pressed against them. He wasn't so uncaring, though, as not to force the man to accompany him when the ambulance arrived for the man he knew to be Cloud's old friend and perhaps hero. His work, however, kept him busy enough that Cloud was now left alone with his thoughts in the tiny room.

Little news had come on Zack's condition since he was admitted. Little, however, can be described as absolutely nothing in this case. The lack of information came as a little surprise to Cloud but edged on his worry all the same. For all he knew, his friend was dead...or worse. When you spent time with the Shinra Company, you knew without a doubt that there were at least a hundred thousand things worse than death.

In addition to the pounding headache, Cloud's eyes stung from unshed tears. If there was one thing he would not allow, it was for Zack's first sight of him in all these years to be of his weakness. This line of thought led, however, to a far more pleasant one. He wondered if his friend would even recognize him after the physical changes he'd undergone. Not only had he grown into man, but one with all the sense and strength of a First Class Soldier and then some.

This thought continued in a way he had not expected...one that actually caused blood to rise to his cheeks. In his condition now, he wondered, would Zack find him to have become more _desirable_? Memories of his time in Soldier flooded back, consuming him. Zack had become a mentor, a friend, and something of an older brother to him. Additionally, he had become the object of the young recruit's affection.

Zack toyed with him from time to time, as he recalled. Maybe it was just part of his personality, but a great deal of their time together involved Zack making comments that could be described conservatively as flirtatious. The memories attacked relentlessly. Visions of himself by the older man's side filled his mind. He could recall vividly every detail: the scent of his cologne, the mako glint in his grey-blue eyes, the grace of his movement, the melody of his voice. Contrary to his expectations, these thoughts escorted him into a welcome sleep.

"_Do you plan on sleeping the entire day?" Cloud stirred slightly, refusing still to open his eyes. Sunlight poured into the room and the warmth was welcome on his face._

"_Sounds good to me." he grumbled, finally opening an eye. Who was he talking to anyway? He opened another eye and blinked both to bring the room into focus. He knew this place...but what was it? A small apartment, it seemed, with the most comfortable bed he'd laid in since he left home._

"_Sounds like the perfect way to waste a perfect opportunity if you ask me." The voice was certainly familiar. The owner came into full view as Cloud turned on his side. He couldn't help but smile at the man lying opposite him. His shoulder length black hair was a tangled mess, matted in spots to his face. Cloud reached forward tenderly to push the hair back, pausing when the man recoiled._

"_Hey, watch it!" he warned, gesturing to a cut on his cheek, fresh and pink, shaped as an x._

"_What happened?" Cloud questioned, though a smile was on his face. Zack laughed a little in return, drawing the younger man closer._

"_You never get tired of this story, do you?" he joked softly, earning a shake of the head from his companion. "Alright, I'll tell you then, but..." he wagged a finger in the boy's face, "You hafta earn it fiiirst." he teased gently._

"_How many?" The young warrior forced a grumble but couldn't stop the smile._

"_Two'll do it. Don't hurt me this time, though!" he laughed, leaning in closer yet. The blond scooted up pressing his lips firmly to his friend's forehead, then trailing softly down and meeting his lips. The older man moved to deepen the kiss, draping his arm over Cloud's waist, only to have the boy jerk back._

"_Nope. You gotta tell me now." he smiled, winking mischievously. Zack rolled his eyes in response, propping his head up on his hand._

"_Fiiiine." He grumbled, letting out an exaggerated sigh. "It was Angeal and I out with a group of recruits on a training mission. **Some **fool of an MP goes out and finds himself a fucking Tonberry. Tonberry, would ya believe it, and has it in his head he can take the thing!"_ _Cloud's_ _cheeks reddened slightly._

"_They don't **look** that tough." he offered. Zack just shook his head and went on now with his story._

"_So this thing's comin' at him with the knife, right? I happen to look over in the direction right in time to see it."_

"_Then what happened?" Cloud urged him on._

"_Then I pushed the kid the hell out of the way. Those things are dangerous as hell...coulda killed the kid..." He rolled his eyes again. Cloud pulled him closer this time._

"_But there are tons of MPs...why'd you go out of your way to save this one?_" _he urged, smiling widely. Zack groaned but let out a laugh, his eyes narrowing into a seductive gaze._

"_Because I knew the rewards would be great if I did." he said, pushing some stray locks behind Cloud's ear and kissing him fully on the lips. Cloud's cheeks reddened as they were prone to do when he was around the older Soldier._

"_You really know me too well."_

"Cloud...Cloud, get up!" Cloud woke to a far less pleasant scene than that of his dream. His back ached instantly as he pulled himself up from the tiny sofa he'd fallen asleep on. He rubbed his eyes furiously, both to clear his vision and his mind. Despite the initial anger at being torn from the dream, he could see a blessing in the fact that Reeve woke him before things got _too _good.

"What?" He asked gruffly, rubbing the back of his head before meeting Reeve's gaze, which was unreadable as always. Cloud felt a spike of jealousy for the man's ability to hide his emotions. At the same time, he cursed the skill. What exactly should he be preparing himself for if he didn't have any hints? All jealousy aside, a new sense of worry was edging at him rather unwelcomely.

"What do you mean, '_what'_?" Reeve growled in return. Three hectic days and nights of discoveries of varying degrees coupled with this almost absurd new development did not bode well for his attitude. The last thing he needed was Cloud's typical dumbfounded attitude to top it all off. "Your friend." He said just enough to peak his comrade's interest.

"What about him?" Cloud demanded loudly before even realizing he'd opened his mouth. Such a lapse was unusual for the soldier in most cases...Zack was an entirely different league, however, and had the innate ability to bring out a side of him even Cloud didn't know. Reeve's lips curled into a small smile that he didn't bother to hide. _Just what **was **the extent of these boys' relationship?_ He wondered silently.

"He's awake." Reeve started haltingly, purposely giving Cloud the chance to contain anything he may be feeling, "He's been through a preliminary round of tests and screening." he continued slowly, crossing his arms, "...and as far as we can tell...he's completely fine." he finally finished, "Muscles are weak from non-use and mako levels are off the chart..." he added before Cloud became too rejoiced, "...but...the levels in his blood haven't had any of the typical adverse effects up to this point."

Cloud stared up at him, fighting the smile from his face. His heart thudded hard in a sort of joyous rhythm and he had to take a few deep breaths to calm himself enough to speak. Why was he so shocked? This was Zack Fair. Soldier, First Class...Sephiroth's companion...Shinra's fastest rising star. Why was it any surprise, then, that he would be okay?

"Does he...remember me?" Cloud asked suddenly. He was standing before he realized it and the question was another of those pesky statements that forced themselves out before he gave them mental permission to do so. Reeve actually laughed aloud at this question.

"What, you think I quizzed him on you?" Cloud wouldn't have put it past the former spy and he made this obvious with the warning glare he sent. "I haven't even spoken to him. What happens to him at this point is none of my concern. The nurses tell me it's obvious he's been unconscious the majority of his time within the building, so he's of no use to myself or the WRO." Cloud could feel a fit of rage building. He should have known that was all Reeve would be concerned with.

"Where is he?" Cloud said now, trying to force his voice to remain even. How badly had he already let his usually well-kept emotions get the best of him? "I want to see him." he swallowed hard, shifting from foot to foot.

"Follow." Reeve instructed shortly, leading the blond down through a pair of double doors on the opposite side of the room. The ICU was hardly the center of activity one might have imagined from the outside. A small nurses' station took up the middle of the large room, curtains dividing the walls on any side into smaller 'rooms' where beds were present. Upon walking in, Cloud felt a chill run down his spine and an uneasy feeling he just couldn't shake clung to him. He hadn't realized until he was there just how much he hated being in a hospital. A memory clung to the edge of his mind, one of a place far too similar to the current, however he couldn't bring it forward enough to know if it was really anything more than a dream. The thick odor of antiseptic attacked Cloud's senses in a way that caused his eyes to water. Again, the trace of a memory urged itself to Cloud's mind, little more than a ghost haunting him.

"...This place..." Cloud muttered to himself, trying to keep his eyes on Reeve as he guided across the room. As he passed each partition, the occupants of the linen cells came into view. Tubes and wires, machines and monitors all humming and hissing and buzzing and beeping appeared to him like specters of the room's occupants' imminent deaths. Had he always been this cynical?

Reeve had ignored the man's mumbling to himself, stopping in front of one of the makeshift partitions. He stood in such a way that Cloud's view was blocked well enough as not to see anything more than an IV pole and a few monitors pressed against the wall on either side of the hidden bed.

"Are you sure you'll be alright?" Reeve asked, an edge still on his voice. He noticed something in Cloud's eyes that he had never recognized on the man before. _Fear? _He asked himself, eyes widening as the thought occurred. Why was it such an absurd thought for the younger man to experience such an emotion? He couldn't answer the question but the thought remained all the same.

"I'm fine." Cloud grunted, shouldering past Reeve into the 'room'. Once he made his way behind the curtains it did, in fact, seem not only like an entirely different room, but a different world. The mechanical sounds were loud, swarming in his ears. He felt as though he actually had to _search _for his friend beyond all the tubes and wires protruding from his body. His heart raced and he noticed just how moist his palms were with sweat. He didn't sit, rather stood halfway through the entranceway, staring at the man on the bed.

His friend looked far more frail than he recalled him being while in the tank and when he was first removed. The muscle definition he was sure he recognized the night before was missing, as was the deep bronze tone his skin used to shine. Cloud was sure he wouldn't have recognized him at all if it weren't for the pale blue-gray eyes that glowed eerily as they locked directly onto his own.

Both remained silent for what seemed like a small eternity. Cloud was aware that he should probably explain himself, probably be the first to speak as he was the one who entered. Then again, he reasoned to himself, Zack was always the one that took charge out of the two even in simple conversation. His eyes were alive, though Cloud couldn't identify the least bit of vitality throughout the rest of his body. He remembered the unmatched charisma of his friend and a smile finally tugged at his lips. It was hard to hold it back, and the only way he was finally able to do so was to remind himself that he still had no idea if Zack even knew who he was.

"...I can't believe it." Zack was the one who broke the silence, staring at Cloud as if he had a second head. Doctors and nurses and members of something he recalled to be named "WRO" had been in and out of his 'room' since he'd first woken, but not a single one could he recall. No one from Midgar's old hospital staff was working here, at least not that he'd seen, nor had anyone from Shinra paid a visit. Cloud was the first person from his former life that he'd seen in several years. He couldn't ask for a better start.

"...uh..." what was Cloud supposed to say? He was still in the same uncomfortable shock that he assumed Zack was. If the man did know who he was, and his reaction was raising Cloud's hope in this category, then he knew well enough that Cloud had trouble enough finding words even in the most relaxed situations.

"You look surprised." Zack's voice was a more gruff than Cloud had recalled. He couldn't say if it was from the fact that this may have been the first time in years he'd used it or simply from the fact that he too had aged since they parted, "You didn't think I wouldn't recognize you, did ya?" he asked with his characteristic infectious grin.

The reddening in Cloud's cheeks answered his question well enough. It'd been long enough since Zack had seen him, and even if it hadn't been, Cloud was the first to admit that he'd changed physically quite a bit over the past few years. When Zack had known him before, he was just a scrawny little MP. Weak as hell and with zero potential, at least in his own mind. Now, he was strong enough to take on Sephiroth _and _beat him. _Twice_. Not to mention the other enemies he'd faced before the General. Or Kadaj and his 'brothers' after.

"You mighta grown up, Spike..." he said playfully, recalling the old nickname he had for his younger friend, "but you're still Spike all the same.. I can see it all over you." In all honestly, he was in much the same boat as Cloud. If it weren't for those eyes of his, he doubted he would've ever been able to say who it was standing so awkwardly at the foot of his bed. Just by looking at him he could see he was undoubtedly stronger. Maybe stronger than he was even in his prime. He was taller than he remembered too. He smiled at the sight, remembering the complaints Cloud used to have at being so small. He certainly had grown into his body. As soon as Zack thought this, though, his mind drifted _elsewhere, _so to speak. The thoughts that entered his mind now caused the former Soldier to blush.

"...Ah...Are you okay?" Cloud asked as he saw the color rise in his friend's cheeks. He shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. He was thankful for something to say, though worry forced its way into his mind again.

"Just fine." Zack assured with a smile and a wink. Despite his obvious physical weakness, he was alive and well, and Cloud was more than relieved to see it. "Hey...you know, you can come a little closer." Zack urged now, struggling to sit up in the bed, "It's not as if I can beat you up in this state." he joked. He gave Cloud a look, though, that had the same effect as if he had grabbed him by the arm and pulled him over physically. Cloud couldn't recall ever seeing the older man look so...helpless...so alone.

"I'm glad...you're okay..." Cloud admitted now, feeling his face redden. Why was this happening to him? It wasn't until now that he realized it- this was his body's usual reaction to being close to Zack. Even more so to see him well over half naked. Beyond the wires snaking from tiny pads stuck to his pecs and an oxygen mask with a long snaking tube that covered the majority of his face, Zack appeared to be completely nude. Of course, there was a blanket draped over his legs up to his waist. Cloud's imagination was well at work filling in those blanks, causing his face to turn a new shade of red.

Zack nodded in return, smiling at his young friend. As selfish as it may have been, Zack thoroughly enjoyed the shy blush that would come to Cloud's cheeks when he draped an arm around him or touched his arm or even found themselves in the same room when he was not fully clothed. He chuckled to himself at the memories of the young boy shuffling around nervously, forcing himself to stare at the ground and sometimes even needing to excuse himself from Zack's presence to fix a problem Zack couldn't help but imagine.

"Something tells me a hell of a lot has changed since I've been 'dead'." Zack said thoughtfully when he saw Cloud to have at least partially regained his composure. Cloud nodded in agreement, grateful for the chance to strike up some sort of conversation.

"You've got that for sure." he said quickly, fixing his gaze on Zack's eyes. Were he to look at his face in general, he would have only reminded himself that Zack wasn't exactly in the clear yet, apparently having trouble breathing. If he were to look at the rest of his body...well, he wasn't about to go borrowing trouble.

"So tell me." Zack said quickly before he could lose Cloud to his thoughts again. He was thrilled to have Cloud around, though he prayed the boy, no, _man _he had to remind himself, wouldn't notice. He was able to control at least his expression better than Cloud, but his body was another matter. He was still thanking the gods Cloud didn't know enough to look over at the monitors keeping track of his vital signs, as that would have shown that his friend's mere present sent his heart racing. "Tell me everything. Start at my end." he said slowly, flashing a smile when he saw a look of sadness crossing Cloud's face, "and don't stop until you've told me every last detail."

Cloud let himself smile slightly this time. Just a few minutes ago he'd been afraid he would be standing, staring wordlessly at his friend until he was shooed away. Now he had more to say than he ever cared to. That was the way things worked with Zack, though. It always seemed to be one extreme or the other.

And yet, Cloud couldn't think of another person in the world he'd rather be with.


	3. Breakdown

((Man, this one took me forever to write. That's just because I've been away on Spring Break, though...I think that's why, at least. Anyway, I gotta start working again. D HERE WE GO!

About the timeline: Dirge of Cerberus took place one year after Advent Children. Advent Children took place two years after Final Fantasy VII. That 3 years after FFVII.

FINALLY, It's not my story that is getting a picture-a-chapter for it. That is Miko-no-da's absolutely phenomenal "Too Good to be True", which my first chapter is probably FAR too similar to, though I worked very hard to try and make it seem like less of a rip... Please read her story. It's superior, and outside of the first chapter, I hope mine is unique and different and doesn't seem like such a copy-cat. sob))

Zack stared straight forward, trying to make sense of the things Cloud had struggled to tell him. He had missed far more than he expected while he was gone. The fall of Shinra...Geostigma...Chaos...Meteorfall...everything, one could say, had happened while he was away from the world.

"Is...that everything?" he asked, surprised by how his voice shook when he spoke. He swallowed deeply to clear the lump forming in his throat. He had made a vow to himself that he would protect this boy, however it turned out he was the last one who needed such a guardian.

"More or less." Cloud muttered, staring at the ground, hands folded in front of him. He never would have imagined just talking could be so draining, but he was completely wiped. His eyes stung with the tears he would never let fall in front of anyone, especially not the man he so looked up to in the past. Sleep still clung to him from the night before, and a single thought of the dream made his cheeks redden.

"You...okay?" Zack asked, concern evident in his voice. He'd noticed the flushness passing through his friend's cheeks from time to time throughout his story, noting that there was probably more than he was willing to admit at these parts. The embarrassment caused Zack to smile to himself. God, that boy was cute when he looked so shy.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine..." Cloud nodded quickly and flashed something close to a smile, "...uh...was there anything...you wanted to ask about?" he offered, happy to find a reason to focus Zack's attention on something other than himself.

"Well..." Zack considered this for a moment. The story had so many things he found so hard to believe, yet the sincerity in Cloud's voice and expression stopped him from questioning them. Unbelievable things happened all the time. His very existence at this point was probably one of them, "How...did you get through it?"

Cloud cringed visibly. Leave it to Zack to make an uncomfortable situation an unbearable one. Zack must have remembered his aversion to any question that required an answer covering more than the most obvious surface layer of a situation. Cloud chuckled to himself; Zack wouldn't have asked that if he hadn't remembered how uncomfortable it made Cloud feel.

"Like I said..." Cloud finally responded, "There were a lot of other people there. Not just me. It's not like I did it all on my own..." he cleared his throat uncomfortably, "I had help." Zack shook his head at this response, a twinkle in his eye.

"I don't mean physically. I know you couldn't have taken Sephiroth or any of the rest on your own." his voice was playful, but it still stung Cloud slightly. In the end, he _was _the one who delivered the fateful blow, after all. To be perfectly accurate, he _was _the one who defeated Sephiroth, regardless of who helped weaken him to the point of defeat.

"They were there for me." Cloud finally whispered, "and not just for the fight." What was he supposed to say? To be completely honest, Cloud wasn't sure himself how he made it through the past few years. How could he possibly explain it to Zack?

Zack responded with a thoughtful nod. He tensed slightly, a tinge of jealousy washing over him. While he knew he should be thankful for the support Cloud's friends provided, he rather wished he was the one by his friend's side over those years.

"Zack..." Cloud spoke up now, staring at the bed covers as he spoke, "Can I ask you something now?"

"Yeah, of course." Zack watched Cloud keenly, mostly because he couldn't keep his eyes off of him. It was easy to forget how handsome the younger man was when the last memory you had of him was little more than a rag doll suffering the intense paralytic pain of mako poising. He watched his friend's magnificently blue eyes as they darted around nervously. While he remembered the light they held from the exposure to mako, the life they presented now had all but left his memory. His skin, once soft and pale, stretched tightly across a body that seemed to be growing far too fast for him to keep up with, now had a healthy, semi-tan color, with what seemed like a permanent pink across his cheeks.

"How did _you _survive?" Cloud asked, his voice slow and slightly gruff. Another thing that had changed, Zack observed silently. He could still remember Cloud's embarrassingly cracking voice which seemed more to spill words than actually speak them. Now the man spoke in a deeper, more refined tone, each of the few words he spoke carefully considered before hand.

"To be honest..." Zack began in a quiet voice, forcing his eyes away from Cloud lest suspicions be aroused. He should have seen the question coming, but was somehow caught off guard and without a proper answer, "I have no fuckin' idea." He noticed the disappointment in Cloud's eyes and continued, "I mean...you probably saw that I was in pretty bad shape. I...remember being shot. Remember it damn well, actually." he found himself staring up at the ceiling, the relief of being able to share this story greater than he would have imagined, "It's hard to forget the feeling of six rounds of hot lead ripping through your chest, though, I guess." His eyes closed, which Cloud was grateful for as he had no desire for Cloud to see the way his face was suddenly twisting up, tears threatening to break through.

"Y-yeah..." he squeaked, surprised by his own voice. What was he supposed to say? Of course he had seen how badly Zack was hurt. The burning tears, the way his throat went raw from screaming his friend's name, the cold pounding rain, the weight of Zack's torn body in his arms and the warmth of his lifeblood leaking onto Cloud's skin- everything blared suddenly through his head, the memory driven with a sharp pain he imagined to be quite akin to a dull screwdriver being driven through his temple. The pain was real and frighteningly familiar. His ears rang loudly, drowning out the mechanical sounds of the hospital room, and when he was finally able to open his eyes, they were blurred not only with tears, but by the harsh spinning the room had suddenly taken to doing.

"Cloud!?" Zack sat up straight, turning to look at his friend. A rush of adrenaline surged through his veins, which the heart monitor reflected properly, "Cloud, you okay?" he repeated when Cloud didn't respond. It was easy to see the pain in Cloud's half-open eyes, and the way his jaw fell partly open only deepened Zack's worry.

"Eghh." Cloud could do little more than let out a grunt as his body slipped from the false-leather covered chair. He did little to stop the descent, as each limb felt to weigh a ton and his head at least double this. A tremor took hold of his body, and he bit his lip so hard that soon blood was practically pouring down his chin and the bitter, coppery taste choked him. It was all he could do, though, to keep himself from crying.

"CLOUD!" Zack's voice was nearly a scream now, meriting attention from a pair of the ICU's attending nurses, "Cloud, c'mon, say something!" the scene was soon evaporating into chaos. While one of the nurses was at Cloud's side, pulling him up and trying all she could to bring him back to his senses, the other was scolding Zack, commanding him to calm down while muttering something about the strain the excitement would have on his currently weakened body. Even through his blurred, vision and despite his spinning world, Cloud could have sworn he saw tears on the cheek of the man he loved. This was the last thing he recalled seeing before the darkness took hold.


	4. Charm

((I must apologize times a million for the shortness of the last chapter. I'm finally in a writing place again.

A special thanks to Lemon, who says I'm not a complete rip-off artist in regards to Mikonoda!))

"Geo...stigma?" The word felt foreign on Zack's tongue, but the doctor's grave look provided his mouth with an appropriately bitter taste. Something about the name sounded familiar. He was sure Cloud had mentioned the ailment in his story, but he couldn't recall any details. He was positive, though, that his friend had never mentioned _having _the disease.

"You haven't heard of it?" the doctor's expression was surprised but changed quickly to a forced kindness. He was vaguely aware of the young man's removal from life, though he hadn't any idea te exact extent. "Well, it was a sort of ailment that caused quite a lot of problems about a year ago. It's been theorized that it was caused by long-term exposure to mako and Jenova cells, as all documented cased were within former Shinra employees, SOLDIERs and their children."

Zack's stomach knotted as he stared wide-eyed at the middle-aged doctor. He had enough experience with Shinra's mako treatments and their adverse affects on the body, though this was the first time he'd heard a name to it.

"What does it _do?"_ Zack asked, surprised by just how dry his mouth had become. The question he really wanted to ask was concerning what was going to happen to Cloud now. The doctor cited Cloud's headache and subsequent fainting spell as a rare after-effect of the Geostigma. By rare, however, he did note that he'd never seen it before.

"The most obvious symptoms were a severe bruising of the skin and atrophy of infected muscles. Your friend was infected around the left shoulder and down his arm," the doctor illustrated the infected area on his own free arm, as if Zack didn't know where the shoulder was located, "He lost most use of the arm and feeling in it as well, though he never reported this to a doctor. Zack felt his blood run cold. Cloud's muscles were dying? No, the doctor said this had happened before... how had he not noticed?

"Eventually," the doctor explained, "the atrophy would spread... heart, lungs, brain... eventually something vital would be hit, and it would be the end. Your friend was _very _lucky to have survived at all..." Zack's mind was buzzing with the information. He could hardly focus on the doctor's words. How close to dying had Cloud come? He was positive the younger man hadn't mentioned this to him.

"Please, just tell me what's going to happen now." Zack said finally, a bit louder than he'd intended, "That's all that really matters." he added, more to give himself an excuse for saving himself from the doctor's increasingly grim descriptions of this Geostigma.

"To be quite honest..." the doctor spoke haltingly, gazing over the wire framed glasses that rested at the edge of his nose, "we've never seen a case like his before. Like I said, the Geostigma relation is only a guess, at best. We have no way to confirm exactly what's going on without further testing." Zack's eyes narrowed and he rubbed his arm, realizing how cold he suddenly felt.

"So you're saying you don't know what's going on?" He wondered if this was the same situation Cloud had been in days before, when Zack was the one laying in the hospital bed. Despite the doctors' best efforts, Zack had no intentions of staying in bed after what he'd seen happen to Cloud. He had to know what was happening...and why now. Even as he tried to convince myself the idea was ridiculous, Zack couldn't help but feel that he was somehow the cause.

"I'm saying we need to perform more tests. However..." the way the doctor spoke the last word sent chills down his spine. There was something lacking in the word...hope, Zack was sure, was what was missing.

"However?" Zack urged on.

"However, Mr. Strife has refused any further testing. As a matter of fact, he has asked to be released immediately." the doctor sounded nearly as stunned, only slightly less confused than Zack felt right now. What the hell was Cloud thinking? He'd nearly taken off his own bottom lip in a fit of pain just two days ago. Now he wanted to take off without any real answers? Zack always had trouble wrapping his mind around Cloud's logic, but this was beyond conception.

"So? Just make him stay!" Zack's voice was fierce. How long was he sure Cloud was done for? In his own mind, Cloud had been dead for years now, and was only just returning to life. And for what? Just to throw it away again?

"I would if I could." the doctor said, his tone resigned, "but so long as he is able to make decisions, we have to respect them." he paused, looking through the doorway he stood next to. Although Zack couldn't see it, Cloud had already taken the liberty of dressing himself back in his street clothes and removing his own IVs and monitors. Though the condition intrigued him, the older man must admit this was the type of patient no one was too reluctant to let go.

"Just fucking great." Zack muttered, pushing past the doctor and into the room without another word to the man. His mind was racing and he felt that he had clenched his fists tightly at either side. He wasn't sure just what he was feeling, to be honest. Fear, anger, disbelief, all only the beginning. The emotions showed on him and Cloud looked up quickly when he entered the room.

"What's going on?" he asked, sitting on the edge of the hospital bed. A curtain divided the room in half, separating the two from a non-existent roommate.

"Why aren't you staying?" Tact, Zack decided, was not an option when it came to Cloud. The last thing he was going to do was tiptoe around the subject long enough for his friend to make a proper excuse. His eyes met Cloud's and refused to leave them, even as the younger man's discomfort became apparent.

"Why should I?" Cloud responded simply, pulling himself to his feet. Based on his appearance alone, it would have been impossible to tell he had spent the past day and a half in a hospital bed His expression was sharp and he looked perfectly collected. The only sign anything had happened at all was the visible slit left in his swollen lower lip.

"The doctor said he'd need to do more tests." Zack had to struggle to keep his voice even as he stepped toward his friend. He didn't stop until he was close enough that Cloud could comfortably look at nothing but Zack's eyes. He'd used this tactic before when he wanted something from Cloud, and the memory of this caused color the rise in the younger man's cheeks. This was the way Zack acted whenever he wanted...

"The doctor said he didn't know what was wrong." Cloud corrected, mentally cursing the way his voice trembled as he spoke. He felt a heat run through his body, his palms sweating and extremities tingling, "And that physically...I'm...okay." his voice still shook even as he tried to calm himself.

"If you were okay, they wouldn't need to do more testing." Zack pressed, sure he was being lied to.

"Look." Cloud swallowed, turning his head to the side to keep himself from being completely lost in Zack's eyes, "If this would have happened anywhere else, nothing would have come from it. It was a headache. That's _all_." He had spent the past few hours convincing him that this train of thought was accurate...that the really wasn't anything wrong with him again. He nearly jumped back when Zack's fingers traced softly over his cut lip.

"It hurt you bad." Zack's voice was low and husky, "That much is obvious. If there is something wrong..." he closed his eyes for a moment, "there's no way I'm gonna let you go and die on me or something now that I've finally found you again." he opened his eyes, the expression in them startling Cloud. He knew this look. He knew this feeling. Well enough he knew this, that the vaguely familiar of Zack's lips barely caught him off guard when they pressed to his.

Zack, on the other hand, was thoroughly surprised with his own behavior. A dull, coppery taste met his tongue as he slid it over Cloud's lip and into his mouth. A passion Zack had forgotten even existed took over his body and he would have been perfectly willing to push the boy onto the bed and let his physical desires take control if it weren't for Cloud's sudden breaking from his embrace.

"Wh-what...what are you doing!?" Cloud demanded breathlessly, stepping back and wiping his mouth on his arm, a streak of blood staining the smooth skin. He attempted one of his typical scowls, though Zack's shy grin tore it down instantly.

"I'm kissing you. What do you think?" Zack answered in his favorite, teasing tone. His eyes danced with mischief, his lips in a wide smile. Even in his weakened state, somewhat sickly in appearance, Cloud found himself experiencing a familiar quickening in his pulse and nervous tightening in his chest. He was just as handsome now as he was before...in fact, perhaps even more so now. Zack's eyes were still bright with the unnatural glow of mako, but there was something new present. Something that came from a source other than chemicals and experimentation...emotions Cloud tucked away safely were worn like a badge in Zack's eyes. The man was his exact opposite, it seemed, and this truly may have been what made Cloud find him so attractive. It was hard for the younger of the two to find words to respond, but he finally managed a short,

"why?" What the hell kind of question was that? Both of the men stood in an awkward silence. Cloud had been working over the past few days to banish any hope that the older Soldier had feelings for him, now or ever. At the same time, Zack was watching the boy's every move, searching for hints as to how he may feel. Even after years of disuse, Zack was confident in his intuition and had no qualms when he finally decided to make his move. Now, however, it was a downright chore to answer Cloud's question.

"Because..." What would be the best way to charm his friend? What was it that brought out the boyish smile he was always seeking, and the quiet blush that made him all the more adorable? He attributed the slight pause to the fact that he was so out of practice, but soon finished his comment, "you needed it."

Cloud's cheeks reddened, causing a smile to tug at Zack's lips. These were the right words, he was sure, when he saw the man lower his head in slight embarrassment, but also to hide the smile forming on his own face.

"Please stay?" Zack ventured now, pulling Cloud close again. _Wrong move_. Cloud pushed him back sharply, eyes shooting daggers. He even let out something of a low growl, glaring up into Zack's eyes, his own ferocious.

"I already told you, there's no reason for me to stay." he said in a sharp voice, "And don't you dare try and use some sort of fake affection to trick me into doing what _you _think is best." he added, stepping forward now and pushing past Zack.

"Hey! It's not like that!" Zack yelled, grabbing Cloud's arm before he could escape the room, "Don't even start with that!" he said, anger in his voice but hurt in his eyes. Cloud saw this and stopped struggling, looking away instantly. He lowered his voice, softening his tone, "You know that's not how it is."

"Sorry." Cloud's voice was quiet, embarrassed. It wasn't Zack's fault that Cloud was so suspicious. This was the way Zack functioned. He really could be manipulative, but by no fault of his own. It was just the way he functioned. He had a particular charm about him which he had come to depend upon when it came to getting his way. It was habit more than mal intent that drove these actions.

"Listen to me." Zack took his other hand now, spinning Cloud to look at him, "I'm just... _concerned._" he let out a sigh, searching for the right words. Was it ever so hard to speak to Cloud? Then again, was he ever quite as attracted to the man as he was now? "I didn't mean to upset you, okay?" He continued, swallowing deeply, "Please..." he was nervous, but the only thought that came to his mind was the one he went with, "...let me...make it up to you." The look in his eyes told Cloud exactly what he meant.

Cloud was hesitant, looking up into Zack's eyes, then at the floor. His eyes inched upwards again, and he wondered things he didn't want to. He recalled the warmth of Zack's tanned skin, pressed against his. Would his weight feel as comforting on top of him? Right now, just his grip felt suffocating.

Visions of the man's flawless body flashed across his mind. He wondered if anything had been _changed _over the years. Mako _was _an agent of growth, wasn't it? His cheeks blazed red at the mere thought.

"I...don't know..." Cloud whispered, but already he felt certain, somewhat unwelcome, urges. He swallowed, licking his lip only to be hit with a tiny jolt of pain. This wasn't helping matters, and he knew it. So why resist? It would only be a matter of time before he succumbed to the older man anyway.

"Come on." Zack urged, pulling Cloud close again, this time without protest. He pressed his lips hard against Cloud's, wrapping his arms around his waist. Before Cloud could protest, Zack scooped him up into his arms, a grin on his face. Cloud's cheeks warmed, eyes widening as he let out the tiniest of yelps.

"Heey..." Cloud protested playfully, struggling half-heartedly against Zack's arms. It thrilled Cloud to know that Zack's strength really was returning so easily, and he could scarcely even pretend that he wasn't just as happy to be in his love's arms again.

"Let's just get the hell out of here, alright?" Zack suggested, finally setting Cloud on the ground in front of him again, "This place gives me serious chills." he said in a cold voice. Cloud voiced his agreement and took Zack's hand. He refused to let go for the rest of their time in the building.

* * *

_Cloud shifted from foot to foot, blinking and swallowing, clenching and unclenching his fists, clearing his throat and fixing his hair, more or less doing anything he could that kept him from staying perfectly still. This was it. He'd been anticipating this chance for quite probably as long as he knew Zack, and now here it was. The First Class Soldier would be walking into his apartment any moment, and Cloud would be, ready to greet him with more than his usual hug._

_He sat down on the couch again, a slight disappointment running through him as he falsely identified yet another pair of footsteps in the halls outside the room. Every person who had passed since he arrived close to an hour ago, he thought to be Zack. He would try to come up with the perfect way to greet the older Soldier. Should be he standing? Sitting? Laying down? Was he wearing the right thing? Maybe Zack wouldn't even realize his intentions. Maybe he should take off his shirt or belt. He'd already slipped off his socks, though this was unlikely to give Zack any of the 'signals' he was aiming for._

'_Hey, kid.' Cloud found himself leaning back against the couch cushion now, imagining the situation. Zack would greet him as usual, with those exact words and a quick kiss on the cheek while he kicked off his boots. Zack would pull him close for a moment and give him a more proper kiss before retreating to his room to change._

_Except this time, instead of settling down on the couch again, Cloud would slip in behind him. He smiled to himself at the very thought. He wouldn't go in right away. He would wait until he was sure his love was at least half-naked. He visuali_z_ed himself sneaking into the room, Zack's perfectly tan skin exposed down to his waist as he was in the middle of changing. Zack would turn to look at him with that perfect smile on his lips, summoning him closer with nothing but the look in his eyes._

'_You come to help?' he asked in Cloud's fantasy. Of course, this being only a fantasy, Cloud had the boldness to approach, smiling and nodding. He would bring himself within inches of Zack, so close that he would have to tilt his head to look upwards given their height difference. His fingers would grab delicately at the brown leather belt, undoing it slowly, despite the excitement of the event. A shiver passed through Cloud's body and he realized now that his hands had worked open his own belt without so much as consulting his mind. This was hardly enough to pull him from the fantasy, though._

_He would pull the belt through the loops and toss it away in a single graceful motion. Next his thumbs would be attacking the two buttons and next the zipper. Once again, Cloud seemed to be working through the fantasy on himself. A quick glance towards the door told him that Zack was still not here, and he would probably be safe long enough to make it through this._

_Soon, Zack's pants would be a heap on the ground, which he would step out of, only to step closer to Cloud. In his mind, he could feel the length of Zack's hard member pressed up against his own, though in actuality, this was his own hand slipping beneath the elastic band of his boxers._

'_I've been waiting for this.' Zack would breathe into his ear as he took his turn, stripping the younger boy. His warm fingers would sweep over Cloud's bare chest before he worked at the tight jeans, ripping them off his hips with a look of intense passion in his gray-blue eyes. He would let his head tilt back and a small groan pull its way from his throat as Zack's hand, or his own outside the fantasy, would wrap around his almost painfully hard cock, gripping firmly. He took a final look at the door, assuring himself that the coast was most definitely clear, and let himself become entirely lost in the fantasy._

_He was caught in the feel of Zack's hand stroking gently his fully erect member, learning it so to speak, before pushing him harshly down on the stiff bed on the other side of the room. He could practically feel the weight of Zack on top of him, trailing hard kisses down his own small body. He could imagine the heat as they pressed together, then of Zack's hips grinding against his own, tearing a loud moan from his lips. Loud enough it was, to silence the sound of the door opening to Zack's apartment outside of his mind._

_His breath became short as he imagined the warm moisture of the older Soldier's tongue dragging up his length, taking it fully in his mouth. Across the room, unseen by Cloud, Zack had already gone as far as kicking his shoes and socks off, approaching the boy slowly, a keen interest in his eyes. There was a smile on his lips, though one far different than that Cloud was used to._

_Zack was beyond words. What was the proper reaction to finding a young Soldier, one for whom you knew you felt __**something**__, even if you didn't know what it was, pleasuring himself on your couch? Well, surely he was aware of the proper reaction in the Company's eyes, but his own 'Zack Fair Handbook' read something quite different. Take full advantage of every situation. This is what Zack decided to be the proper course of action as he stripped off the dark violet turtleneck that had become part of his every day outfit. _

_There was nothing that stressed one out more than a day of training new recruits. He wondered if he was as dumb and immature as these kids were when he was in that position. Hell, why did he have to wonder? He was hardly any more mature now. None of that particularly mattered now, though, because the sight of one uncommonly stoic young MP letting himself loose right before his eyes was having the sort of effect he really hadn't counted on, and he was now working off his own pants._

"_Zack..." the older man's eyes widened. He was sure the boy had uttered his name. Did he know he was here? Impossible...his eyes were shut tight. Which only left one other possibility...one that widened the mischievous smile on his lips._

_Cloud's eyes did open when he felt hot breath against his cheek, then the feeling of lips against his neck. He let out a startled shout, pushing the intruder off instantly. Zack stood before him, 'evil' smile on his lips, unnatural glow in his eyes, nothing more than his black boxers on, and those stretched dangerously by his full erection._

"_Hey, you called, and here I am." Zack breathed, grinning. Cloud's face, in turn, blazed red as he searched for the words to explain himself. There weren't any, though, and even if there were Zack didn't give him the chance to find them. Soon the other man was on top of him, completely stripping away Cloud's pants, then his own, "Don't even say a thing." he said with a short laugh, "You can thank me later."_

* * *

Cloud smiled to himself, wondering if Zack could remember their first encounter the same way he could. He lay next to the older man, still catching his breath as he watched Zack do the same, laying flat on his back, chest heaving. There was a smile on Cloud's lips, widened as Zack finally wrapped an arm around him, pulling the younger man closer.

"Told you I'd make it up to ya..." Zack panted after a few moments with Cloud situated soundly on his chest. In Zack's own mind ran a different memory, though on equally vivid. This, however, was not one he wished to recall, nor one he could label as appropriate for this situation. He held Cloud tightly as he could now, held to the present only by the fact that Cloud held on just as hard.


	5. Fear

((o-o This chapter ended up being a little bit longer than I expected, clocking in around five full pages. I'm being rather mean to Cloud here, and I hope you all forgive me for it! D: I actually feel bad, but it's all part of my master plan. Mwah ha ha ha. XD Of course, to be honest, I'm just playing it by ear. I have no real plan for this story, and that's why it's taking me so long to upate. . 

School starts in two weeks. I wonder what time I'll have to write silly fanfics now that I'm about to become a college student.))

The warmth that Zack felt as he began to wake was something he hadn't felt in years. A smile found its way to his lips as he gazed down at Cloud Strife curled up comfortably on his chest. This was a good sign, he decided, that the events he was sure he remembered from SOLDIER weren't just dreams. It had been days since he had been rescued, which was an even better sign that he hadn't been dreaming the whole damn thing.

Zack found he needed to squint hard to decipher the digits on the alarm clock beside their bed, and he was sure he wasn't seeing things right regardless when he saw that the clock read eleven. He could remember Cloud always waking up at the crack of dawn, even on his days off. The boy baffled him in that sense, as Zack would have been perfectly happy to have stayed abed well into the afternoon on those days.

"Hey, Cloud…" he nudged the man slightly, whispering into his ear, "It's almost noon…you'd better wake up…" the suggestion merited no response, erasing the smile from Zack's lips.

This was absolutely uncharacteristic of his friend. Not only was he usually up at ungodly hours, but the slightest noise could chase sleep from him for hours. A sudden wave of worry washed over Zack. What if he really _was_ sick? Could this be somehow related to the episode days ago?

"Cloud, get up!" He commanded now, sitting up quickly only to have the younger man groan and flop down into his lap.

"…….tired…." well, at least he got a response this time.

"Cloud, come on. It's past eleven. You gotta wake up now, kid." he could scarcely hide the concern in his voice as he turned Cloud over onto his back, brushing the hair way from his tightly shut eyes. Zack's eyes narrowed and his grip on Cloud tightened when he got a better look at the younger man. Dark circles plagued his eyes and his lips were dry and badly chapped. To top it all off, it wasn't until he found that he could count each of Cloud's ribs that Zack noticed just how thin his friend had become. Had he been in this bad of shape before the two were reunited? Why hadn't he noticed it the night before? He cursed himself, quite specifically his inability to combat some of his more primal urges.

"Cloud…" he repeated, shaking the ex-SOLDIER by the shoulders now, trying to sit him up.

"Zack….I'm so tired… lemme sleep just a little longer." Cloud begged, speech heavy with sleep. His eyes had finally opened half-way, just as full of sleep.

"Come on, it's already almost noon. You can go to bed early, but you can't just sleep the day away." Zack let a smile make its way to his lips, some of the tension melting away. He was just tired…and who would blame him? The past few days had been hectic enough, and Zack had no idea what kind of schedule his love was keeping before then. "Besides…" he added, smile still on his lips, "Your eyes are already halfway opened… no use going back now."

The expression that crossed Cloud's face now wiped the smile from Zack's just as much as the words to follow would;

"….What are you talking about? My eyes are shut…"

----------

_"I quit." Cloud grumbled, slamming the heavy book shut and sliding it across the tiny table. Zack caught it on the edge before it could fall, unable to give much more to his friend than a sympathetic gaze. Cloud had already failed Shinra's SOLDIER entrance exams twice. The next test would be his last, pass or not. Three attempts was the cut-off. Should he fail the next test, Cloud would be stuck finishing his services with Shinra as a lowly guard._

_"You can't just quit." Zack spoke in a hushed voice. He leaned across the table to place a hand on the boy's shoulder only to be pushed away, quite violently._

_"Why shouldn't I? I'm only going to fail again anyway." There was a huskiness in his voice that Zack could __recognize at once, and he didn't have to see the tears in Cloud's shining blue eyes to know they were there. Zack knew the frustration. While he would never admit it, Zack had decided long ago that SOLDIER was about the __**only **__thing he was good at. It was endlessly frustrating to someone as inwardly gentle as Zack to have little talent outside of violence._

_"Listen to me, Cloud…" Zack's tone became more firm now, "If you give up now, you'll always regret it." Cloud snorted, a sarcastic smirk on his face as the first small tears trickled down his cheeks. Like he hadn't heard that bullshit before._

_"Forget it." he whispered, his voice shaking worse than he had expected it to, "No matter what, I'm just a fucking failure." the realization had made is way to his mind long before, but this was the first time he had voiced it. Saying it, he decided, made it far more true, and therefore more tears came with this admission._

_"No!" Zack's voice was sharp, even harsh as he pushed his chair next to Cloud's, forcing the young recruit to face him. He'd only known the boy for a few weeks, but the feelings that stirred when he saw him like this were unmatched. As much as he regretted to admit it, Zack was in love with him. Now he found that the one he loved was in a considerable amount of pain, and he had little to do for him._

_Cloud looked up slowly, hesitant to meet Zack's gaze. Zack had already reached his dream- SOLDIER, First Class… the youngest ever to make it to such a rank outside of Sephiroth. Why was he wasting so much time on a brat like him? Why would someone who has excelled from the get go throw away his free time with someone who would never make it into even the lowest ranks? Shivers ran down his spine, regardless of the hot tears on his cheeks, when he saw the expression on Zack's face. He looked so…sad. Hurt, even. _

_"Zack…"_

_"Cloud, please." Zack cleared his throat slightly. If Cloud were a girl, this would be so much easier. He wouldn't have to worry about scaring a friend away…at least not as much as he did now. Since when did he like men anyway? No point examining that right now, he decided, as he was certain he loved the kid regardless of when he started. "Just…let me tell you this…"_

_"…I'm listening…" he felt his cheeks redden as Zack's gaze locked with his. He was going to figure it out. What would he say then, when he realized the stupid kid hanging around him every second he could had some sort of crush on him? What would he think to find out he was the object of some failure kid's affection?_

_"Regardless of what you become in SOLDIER or Shinra… it doesn't matter… because that doesn't make you a failure." Zack felt his fingers begin to tremble. He shouldn't do this. This was the absolute worst idea he had ever had. Still, his shaking fingers brushed across Cloud's cheek, wiping away the tears, "This isn't what defines who you are…." he whispered, wiping the tears from the other cheek as he leaned in closely now, whispering almost directly into Cloud's ear, "It's not hatred and violence that makes you a success." he swallowed deeply, a surge of adrenaline pushing him on, "It's love."_

_Cloud's eyes went wide as Zack's lips pressed against his. Soon enough, though, his eyes fell shut as the strong arms wrapped around him. He couldn't have pulled away if he wanted to- he was so taken by shock that he was sure he couldn't move. All the same, though, he found soon that his own arms had wrapped around Zack, pulling the two closer together. Even after Zack broke the kiss, Cloud clung to the older man, pressing himself against his crush. Fingers tingling, heart hammering, his entire body seemed to shake as he held on so tightly it were as if his life depended on it._

_"Thank you…" Cloud was able to breathe, though he wasn't sure Zack could hear it. It didn't matter, though. He was perfectly content to cling to his friend, feeling the warmth of his body and the comfort of his touch. The exams, training exercises, the stress that came with every single moment in Shinra's halls, it all melted away. All that was left was him and Zack, and he couldn't ask for anything more._

_---------_

The memories hit Zack hard as he sat in the tiny waiting room, staring at the television screen. There was a news broadcast, though he didn't really hear any of the stories. His mind was occupied entirely by the man that lay right now in one of the beds just beyond a door he wasn't allowed through.

He'd called for an ambulance hours ago, when Cloud first awoke to find himself blind, and they promptly made it impossible for Zack to get even the slightest bit of information on his friend starting the moment he was admitted into the hospital. Despite the fact that he was allowed to fill out all of the forms regarding Cloud's admittance, no information would be released until his emergency contact arrived. Even with the charm he laid thickly upon the nurses in their station down the hall, the best bit of information Zack could come up with was the name of Cloud's emergency contact: one Vincent Valentine.

The name rung a bell in the back of Zack's head, though when he was sure he'd found a face to go with said name, he was sure there was a mistake. He vaguely remembered spending time with a young Turk, Reno, he thought his name was. They were both in the same boat, so to speak- far younger than any of their superiors, young, active men with a lust for anyone with a pulse. The two drank together, and Zack could recall from the nights in the bar, Reno telling him about a story Tseng used to warn the newest recruits to the organization with.

"He'd tell us about this guy," Reno had explained to him, "…Valentine. That was his name…Vince Valentine… anyway, this guy…. He crossed that son of a bitch, Uh... What was his name? The professor... Uh…" Zack would have to place the name he was searching for. _Hojo, _"Yeah, Hojo, that's right. Well, he tried to get in the way of some of that Hojo guy's experiments, which is a bad place to be, yo. Seriously bad place." Just from seeing the man a few times in the halls of the Shinra facilities, Zack could safely assume this assessment to be correct.

"Anyways, Hojo…he turned him into a monster, yo. A fucking demon!" Of course, by this time Zack had decided that this was a horror story that only the type of person like Reno would buy into, "An' they locked him in the Manor in Nibelheim." _Nibelheim…_he knew the town's name…Cloud's hometown. He wondered if anyone from those parts had heard of such a ridiculous legend. Now that he heard the name, though, he couldn't help but wonder if the man had something to do with it.

While he seriously doubted Hojo created a monster of him, it wasn't impossible to think that he could have been a Turk who was discharged for unruly behavior. Zack scoured his mind for any other mentions of the man he may be waiting for, but he could come up with nothing. Other than a faulty story from a man with a faulty brain, he had little to go on.

And so he sat in the waiting room, slipping in and out of memories, trying to focus on the on the old TV mounted opposite him. When he really tried to focus on the sitcom rerun, he began to notice just how out of whack the colors were, many of the actors with quite unhealthy purple glows to their skin. This was probably the most interesting aspect of the long-forgotten comedies, and kept his attention only long enough for him to jump slightly when he heard a deep, rasping voice requesting information at the reception desk in the room:

"I was called here about Cloud Strife." Even thought spoke quietly, it was the kind of voice that couldn't really speak in soft tones, and even the low mumble filled the room in a disquieting way. Zack was quick to his feet when he heard his friend's name called, at the man's side in an instant.

"You're Vincent?" he asked without hesitation, looking up to meet with a pair of crimson eyes. Red eyes…not just bloodshot, or even an odd shade of brown, the man had pure red eyes. A shiver ran down Zack's spine and he reconsidered for a moment the possibility of truth in Reno's words.

"Who's asking?" the man broke his gaze with Zack quickly, returning to that of the reception worker- a young woman with cropped brown hair and huge green eyes, apparently just as startled by the new arrival as Zack was.

"A friend of Cloud's. I'm Zack…" he held out his hand for only a moment, quickly realizing that such formalities were a waste of effort with this man, "…I called the ambulance for him…and they haven't let me do a damn thing but wait ever since." This time it was Vincent who did the double-take.

He could remember Tifa mentioning, shortly after she and Cloud were recovered from the Lifestream, a man named Zack, after whom Cloud had modeled himself. A man who's life Cloud had, without a conscious choice, decided to live. That man, however, was supposed to be dead- shot down by Shinra guards just outside of Midgar. In fact, he could go so far as to recall a sword planted into the ground on one of the plateaus outside of the city- a makeshift monument to a warrior's life. This couldn't possibly be the same man. But who else could it be?

"Someone will be right out with you, sir." the woman behind the desk squeaked to Vincent before disappearing back behind aisles lined with computers and folders, presumably through a door to find someone to consult with the man.

"You look surprised." Zack ventured, noting a widening in Vincent's eyes when he introduced himself, "…have you heard of me, maybe?" even as Vincent tried to put on his most menacing face, the young man was not put off, apparently unaware that socializing was not a high priority for him. This entire situation was, in fact, exactly the opposite of one he would want to be in. It was only on Tifa's behalf that Vincent had accepted the position as Cloud's emergency contact. The woman was strong, Vincent couldn't argue that, but when it came to Cloud… he knew as well as anyone she wouldn't be in her right mind in such a situation. While it may have been an honor for some to receive such a potentially hefty responsibility, it was more of a necessary burden to Vincent, who was in this way cursed with a cool head.

"Someone of the name has been mentioned." Vincent said in his usual low voice, taking a seat near the doorway to the ICU. It seemed that a moment in the world of hospital waiting rooms was far longer than a moment in any other dimension.

"Then you think I'm not me, because if I was, I'd be dead, right?" Zack took a seat, much to Vincent's dismay, right next to him. A sigh escaped the elder man's lips, but he did not protest. While there was a certain aspect to this man that irked him in a way he could not explain, he was most certainly intrigued. It seemed that he had not, in fact, been mistaken. It would appear that this man _was _Cloud's inspiration…Cloud's supposedly dead inspiration.

"That was the impression I was left with." Vincent finally replied in his typical cold tone.

"Yeah. Well, I couldn't have been that lucky." Zack replied with a smirk, letting a small huff out through his nose. This response caught Vincent slightly off guard. This was the kind of guy who seemed to be chock-full of that 'live life to the fullest' bullshit. He was, therefore, listening quite intently when he finally elaborated, "Hojo had me locked up in some damn laboratory since we made it to Midgar. I'm sure I was dead… I have the scars to prove it too… but that asshole had something to prove, I guess. I was stuck underneath the city in a mako chamber, always in between praying for death and thinking it had already come." such an admission wasn't uncommon for Zack. Really, his life was an open book. Shinra was in the wrong, so what did he have to hide?

"Hojo…" Vincent actually growled the name, and Zack was sure he saw his eyes glow a darker shade of red. The older man, sharing his body with a monster thanks to the so-called doctor in question, had more than a few words on the subject of the professor. He would have happily shared them to, had a far less intimidating doctor not slipped through the door at that precise moment.

"Mister, uh…Valentine?" the man was short and slight of build, lost within the scrubs and white doctor's coat he was clothed in. A surgical mask had been lowered around his neck, and his eyes were weary behind thick-rimmed glasses. He had to look down at a folder in his hand just to remember Vincent's last name, and looked even more weary when both men stood, one looking ready to pounce.

"Yes?" Vincent responded, crossing his arms. The doctor looked as if he could have been intimidated by a butterfly, practically cowering before Vincent. He had stammered as he spoke, fixing his eyes on the folders in front of him- anything to avoid the exceptionally large, apparently ill-tempered man in front of him.

"Well, uhm… your friend uh, Mister Strife, he has, uh, apparently suffered from, uh… some ailment that has, er, caused blindness…coupled with… coupled with severe headaches and, uh, moderate physical weakness…"

"Tell us something we don't know." Zack snapped, frustration taking over. The headaches started days ago, and he assumed the weakness accompanied them. All he wanted to know now, though, was what it was that was causing it, and how they were going to fix it. The doctor, in response, fixed his glasses, gazing down at the folder again.

"Well, uh, we haven't been able to pinpoint the illness quite yet, but…eh… we're still waiting on some test results, so-"

"-Well, is he okay!?" Zack finally interrupted. He could hardly contain the combined dread and anger filling him as he formed an image of incompetence in his mind based on what he was seeing before him.

"He, uh, he is stabilized, and seems to be doing well. His vision has not improved…" the words the doctor finally found himself able to come up with flew over Zack's head, though Vincent seemed to comprehend. Complicated medical terms flowed, Vincent responding with questions at what seemed to be appropriate times, all while Zack tried to keep up, hardly able to hide his bewilderment.

At length, both men stopped talking, looking at each other with expressions that Zack couldn't decipher. Frustration was growing, but what could he really do about it? He wasn't able to comprehend most of what he just heard, but a stubborn pride kept him from admitting it.

"Can I please see him?" he finally grunted, his voice thick with emotion he apparently forgot to tuck away before speaking.

"Fifteen minutes only, every hour until ten, no more than the two of you in the room at any one time." The doctor explained, finishing with instructions to follow him. He lead the way through the door to the ICU, swiping a keycard at a door a few feet beyond the initial entry point to open their way to the ward.

While Vincent had the foresight to steel himself against the scene they were about to enter, Zack was caught off guard by the sudden burst of energy. Monitors beeped and machines hissed, nurses bustled back and forth across the large central area, to each of the rooms that lined the unit, situated at the end of a hallway. A nurses' station was located near the front of the room, and it could easily be deduced that the patients in most dire need were those in the small cubicles closest to this area. The idea relieved Zack as the doctor led them to the small, open-ended room near the back of the left wall. He stopped them outside of the door to remind them of the time limitation before scurrying off. Zack wondered if there were more people in the waiting room, about to be set into a frenzy of worry by the nervous doctor, probably the worst choice in the world to be delivering any sort of news.

Zack started into the room, pausing and turning to see Vincent, standing outside with no apparent intentions to go in.

"I'll let you have some time alone first." he said simply, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall. Zack couldn't really say he was displeased by this arrangement, though perhaps a little surprised by it. He didn't question, though, entering the room quickly. The sight he was greeted with, though, knocked the wind right out of him.

Cloud was in the bed, of course, though it was hard to find him at all beneath a veritable sea of wires and tubes, snaking from machines situated on either side of the bed to places Zack could only imagine, hidden by the papery gown his friend had been fitted with upon his admittance. The hiss of an oxygen tank stole one ear, while a monotonous beeping tone punctuated in the other. He found his hands trembled, and Zack had to lower himself into one of the seats, suddenly quite certain that he would pass out.

"Not a pretty picture, I take it." Zack jumped in his seat at the sound of his friend's voice.

"How did you know I was here?" The doctor said Cloud was still blind, and as if it remind him of this point, a thin gauze bandage had been affixed around his eyes.

"I felt you." Cloud replied simply, pulling himself carefully up in the bed. Outside of the various machinery attached to him, he looked far better than he had half-conscious in Zack's lap earlier that afternoon. Some of the color had returned to his skin, and his lips were again moist and full in appearance, enough so that Zack would have happily pressed his own lips against them in any other situation, "You seem nervous. You don't have to stay." Even without functioning eyes, Cloud could see right through him, a fact that at once comforted and worried Zack.

"I'm staying." Zack said, trying to make his voice sound more confident than he felt. He carefully scooted his chair closer to the bed, taking one of Cloud's hands in his own. Surprisingly enough, Zack's hands were far colder, a fact that brought Cloud to hold tightly.

"….Thank you." Cloud returned in a whisper. It wasn't until now that Zack really saw something that he hadn't since he was reunited with Cloud… something that he was, in the past, quite familiar with. That vulnerability that always plagued his friend, and that made Zack feel such an intense need to protect him, and at the same time such an intense desire to belong to him. "I'm… really scared." Had this been any of his other friends, Cloud would never have admitted such a thing. He had to be strong for them, had to put on that front, to be the Cloud he'd let them know. It was only with Zack that he felt he could feel at ease. Only to Zack could he be, the one characteristic he thought defined him more than any of the ones he allowed the people he knew now to see, utterly helpless.

"You don't have to be." Zack spoke now, in a hushed voice. He couldn't calm his own fears, but with any luck he could ease those of his love, "Because I'm here. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you, okay? I promise." He sealed these words with a kiss, already worried as he did, that he'd made an oath he would never be able to keep.


	6. Truth

((A/N: I'd like to thank all my loyal fans/reviewers on Ffnet for sticking with me after the huge hiatus as well as welcome and double thank all of my new y!Gallery fans! You guys are all the BEST, seriously. I love y'all to death.  
Things are seeming to take a turn for the worse in this chapter, but I'm hoping to twist it in a way that you don't see so much!  
Also, OMG long flashback here! xD I love writing these so much! O.O))

Zack wasn't sure whether to be calmed or further worried by the fact that life was setting into a routine. While it was easy enough to manage, following the same basic schedule every day, the circumstances were undesirable to say the least. Cloud was moved to a private room the day after he was admitted to the ICU, meaning that Zack was now allowed near his love from two in the afternoon until nine in the evening. Once a day, Vincent would force Zack out of the room to get some food or take a nap while he spoke with Cloud about things neither would disclose. He would usually wait right outside the room for Vincent to leave, despite the firm instructions he received from both to take care of himself during the break.

This routine had been going on for nearly a week and a half now, with little in the way of progress as far as Zack could tell. Every day the doctors, and there were many more than just the incompetent fool Zack was first required to deal with, would send for more tests. Every day more tests would come back negative, or inconclusive. Every day, more frustration would mount and more hope would escape.

"Why won't you tell me," Zack finally asked after sitting in silence next to Cloud's bed after Vincent's departure a particularly cold afternoon, "what it is you're talking to him about?" Zack had learned over the past days that Vincent was an ally Cloud had gained while fighting Sephiroth some three years ago. A cold feeling had settled in his stomach when Zack learned that they met up in the basement of Shinra's manor, though he never mentioned this. From what he heard, though, Vincent and Cloud were never too terribly close on anything other than a pseudo-professional level. Vincent's cold demeanor made it even easier for Zack to be sure of this odd relationship.

"Zack…please…" Cloud whispered, lowering his head. Even with the bandages around his unseeing eyes, he had to turn to face away from his friend. What was he supposed to tell him? That the doctors were running out of places to look? That while new problems were cropping up by the second, nobody could answer why? How could he tell him that not only had the headaches become more frequent, but more fierce, ripping him from sleep in the nights, leaving him with a dull ache that couldn't be cured by any amount of pain medicine the night nurse would administer? In what universe could Cloud possibly look Zack in the eye and explain to him that he was all of a sudden dying, for no apparent reason?

Or should he tell him what he thought to be the even more terrifying truth- the rumors brought by Vincent every night, warning of a danger far greater than any disease.

"Don't 'Zack, please' me." Zack shot back, the mounting frustration taking control. All he wanted to know was what was going on with his friend. Cloud's hesitance to share the details only pushed Zack into a further state of dread, near panic. Something bad was happening, that much was obvious, but with each passing day it seemed as though the situation was only getting worse…far worse than he first expected. "Cloud… What the hell is going on here?"

"Zack…." Cloud tried to protest, but was interrupted quickly.

"What the hell happened to us being lovers!?" and as soon as the words hit, Zack's hand rose to his mouth and his cheeks reddened. What the hell was he thinking? Since when did one night, one _very_ confusing night, to be precise, constituted a pair being considered lovers? Just because he was in love…didn't make it a relationship. At what point did he make _that _mistake?

"…….Zack…" his voice was a hoarse whisper when Cloud finally responded. It took him a moment even to come up with that, as all the air seemed to leave his lungs the moment he heard the word. _'Lovers'. _Zack considered him a lover?

"Sorry." Zack whispered, standing quickly and backing away from his friend's bed. "I don't…know what I was thinking…" he muttered, ignoring Cloud's protests as he hurried out of the room. He walked quickly down the halls, not even able to register the mild surprise that should have come when he brushed past Vincent and a young woman, vaguely familiar to him, in the hallway out. A female voice called out to him as he past, but he ignored it, cheeks still red, embarrassed tears forming in his eyes.

It was Tifa who's eyes became concerned as she saw Zack brush past her. She looked up at Vincent to convey this concern, mouth falling open slightly.

"Did Cloud tell him?" her voice didn't feign surprise so much as frustration. She'd been sending news through Vincent since Cloud was admitted, with the one rule being that nobody else could know. As far as Vincent could tell up to this point, though, Cloud had been following the rule easily enough.

"I don't know." Vincent said coolly, continuing up the hall towards Cloud's room. If it troubled the older man, he sure as hell didn't show it. Tifa kept at his side, snapping at him for being so careless, asking why he wasn't going after Zack, questioning whether or not the man who passed really was Cloud's supposedly deceased friend.

"Ask Cloud." He finally growled, his patience waning as they reached the young, newly-blind man's room. He stood at the door, making a wide gesture for Tifa to go in, "I'll wait." with that, he slid against the wall, letting his head fall slightly as he drew his knees up to his chest. Tifa considered saying more, but decided by his glare that it would be a lost cause, to say the very least.

Her breath caught in her throat as Tifa stepped into the room. Vincent wasn't the type to help someone properly prepare themselves for a situation, no matter how troubling it may be. There couldn't have been much in this world more disturbing to Tifa than the sight of Cloud practically tethered to a bed, blindfolded, machines beeping and humming and hissing all around. Okay, well maybe Cloud tethered to a bed with a blindfold could have, under some situations, been more fun than disturbing, but not at this time, and the thought couldn't do so much as bring a half-smile to Tifa's face.

It took Cloud quite longer to recognize this person than it had for him to identify Zack or Vincent. Tifa was never such a nervous or timid person as she felt to him when she entered the room. Of course Zack would have been terrified, especially since he witnessed the collapse; and Vincent's demeanor wouldn't have changed had they been facing the apocalypse. He hadn't considered how Tifa would react, though, and it wasn't until he took this into consideration, some minute and a half after she'd entered the room and decided to stand awkwardly at the foot of his bed, that he realized it to be her.

"Teef." Even after going far longer than was probably polite since seeing his friend, he impressed himself by reaching this conclusion and hoped it would put her at ease too. It did not, however, as she sat just as awkwardly at a chair about a foot away from his bed.

"What did you say to Zack?" it took her a long time to squeak this much out, her throat feeling dreadfully tight as she first tried to speak. She hated hospitals. Always had. The last place she wanted to be right now was this building, but Vincent had warned her, in his dark, painfully blunt way, that Cloud may die. He had warned her that, if she ever meant to see Cloud again, she should do it quickly, as whatever was making their friend sick was getting worse- was spreading. He did not tell her though, probably because he didn't care enough to ask, how much of this Zack knew. Tifa wondered if he'd run off like that because he now knew it all.

"Nothing…." Cloud responded, frowning.

"…is that why he's upset?" It was the only logical conclusion she could come to. Cloud would have obviously been pushing Zack away if he really were dying. Zack would probably be wondering what was going on with his friend, and was hurt when Cloud refused to tell him. Simple enough. But, tears? She hadn't spent all that much of her life around Zack, but tears were something she didn't expect from him. It felt almost surreal.

"…Something like that…" his voice was quiet, actually sounding rather guilty. He couldn't tell Tifa what had really happened. He knew of the crush she had on him for so long… he could hardly bring himself to tell her he accidentally hurt Zack when the other called him 'lover'.

"Cloud, how much does he know?" she pressed further. In all honesty, she wondered how much _she _really knew. How much had Vincent told her? How much did Vincent even _know_? She knew better than to assume that Cloud had told Vincent everything or that Vincent had made sure of it. There were things that, no matter how persistent they were, Cloud's friends would not be able to find out through him.

"He knows that I'm sick…" Cloud started, guilt still thick in his voice, "And that I'm blind…." his voice trailed and Tifa's eyes widened. That was ALL Cloud had told him? "And…that they don't know what's wrong with me."

"You didn't tell him you're-"

"Are you insane?" Cloud interrupted, shaking his head gently, "no way." he finished, letting out a low sigh. It wasn't fair of him to be keeping as much from Zack as he was, and he knew it. This fact was even more clear after Zack's words about a quarter of an hour ago. _Lovers._ How could he ever explain to Tifa that he wasn't just keeping his condition from his friend, but from someone he loved probably more than he'd loved anyone short of his own mother.

And while Cloud tried to come up with a new lie for Tifa as to his and Zack's relationship, she thought it best to let the man keep his illusions. She had, after all, worked a bar for years now. She had more than enough experience observing people to know that 'old friend', when said in the proper tone, meant 'personal hero and mentor with whom I've fucked around, and more than just the night we met again. And oh, by the way, I love him'. Of course, it helped that on top of her experience in watching people in general, she had special experience in watching Cloud.

Nonetheless, when Cloud explained an oversensitive Zack, who was under far too much stress, Tifa nodded and tried to act as believing and sympathetic as possible. She could buy the bit about being under far too much stress- that wasn't hard to swallow in the least. Oversensitive, though, was a long shot. Perhaps it was because of his weakened state, or just because it was the kind of connection that you wouldn't naturally make, but Cloud obviously hadn't taken into account that Tifa and Zack _had _spent time together when he was stationed in Nibelheim so many years ago. Even though her memories of him may have grown dim over time, she still recalled a young, cocky SOLDIER, on top of the world. Another reason she could see right through Cloud's excuses.

As confident and flirtatious as the boy was, she could tell that he could be equally sincere. She remembered him mentioning at that time an ex-girlfriend and a young Shinra MP he was keeping his eye on. This was a memory that brought something akin to realization and caused her eyes to go wide. He couldn't have meant the now grown man sitting up in the bed opposite her!

"Tifa…I'm going to tell him eventually…" Cloud finally offered. He didn't have to see the look in her eyes to know that she disapproved of his secrecy, "but there are more important things going on right now, and I've caused him enough worrying, y'know?" he raked his thin fingers through the mess of blond hair on his head, not brushed in days.

"That's what I came here about in the first place." Tifa responded, sinking into the chair. The last thing she wanted to discuss was the questioned rumor. As much as she tried to tell herself that none of it was true, she just couldn't buy her own logic. Sightings of a fallen general were strange, but even more troubling were that they came at the same time as Cloud's mysterious illness and Zack's sudden return. She voiced the thought that was on most enlightened minds;

"I think his return is related to Zack's." her voice was small, and it was a blessing that Cloud's hearing had perked in the past few weeks, "And more than that…. I think your being sick is connected, too." she tried to keep herself calm as possible, keep her voice quiet and her demeanor bright. The last thing Cloud needed was to be worried by this.

"I've been thinking the same thing." was his dark reply. As much as he hated to say it, these thoughts had plagued him since almost the exact moment he heard of Tifa's grim findings. His lips tightened and he tried running his tongue across them to relieve a bit of the chapping.

"If Sephiroth is really back, this all is _not _coincidence."

* * *

"That's really him!" Cloud's face lit up like a kid in a candy store as he stood at his friend's side, gazing through the plate glass into one of the training rooms. Beyond the glass was a tall man, slim but muscular, wielding a massively long blade as he sliced effortlessly through the robotic enemies. The general was a creature of grace. His hair- long and silver- flowed around him as he moved, each strike appearing to be part of a perfectly choreographed dance.

Zack couldn't help but grin at the young MP's amazement. When Cloud asked the previous week whether he'd ever met Sephiroth, he was more than happy to share his impressions of the General. Strength like his existed nowhere else… or if it did, Zack couldn't imagine where.

Cloud watched in wonder as the emerald-eyed SOLDIER breezed through the upper-level training program. Within minutes, an entire horde of robo-SOLDIERs had been done away with and the beautiful man now stood, grabbing a towel to wipe some of the perspiration from his ivory face. It was at this point when his eyes locked with Cloud's.

"A kid?" It was uncommon, to say the least, to see someone so young in the upper-class training center. On top of that, this kid had the uniform of an MP. What the hell was he doing here? The General answered his own question when his gaze rose from Cloud's to a much taller boy, though only a couple years older. Fair; of course. Which would mean the kid was…. Sephiroth searched his mind for the name. Zack had gone on about him so many times, boring the living shit out of the General. And after all that time, he couldn't recall that poor kid's name.

"I think he's looking over here…" Cloud spoke quickly, his eyes going wide when Sephiroth's locked with his. Sephiroth- The Great Sephiroth- was looking right at him! He felt his heart thump hard against his ribcage, his mouth going dry. Those eyes, which had now met Zack's, were so beautiful. How could a man **be **so beautiful?

Zack lifted a hand in greeting to the man, something of a 'war buddy' to him. He smiled at Cloud's reaction, though not paying him too much mind. There weren't many people who would be any more composed. Seeing Sephiroth in action was a treat that not too many got, even if it was just in training. He was probably just as thrilled as Cloud when he saw Sephiroth signal for the two to enter before heading to the wall for a water bottle.

"I think he wants to talk to you…" Cloud's voice shook as he silently prayed Zack would insist he come along. His older friend did just that, and he tagged along closely behind as Zack led the way to the automatic steel doors, swiping an ID card that would admit them entry.

"Fair!" Sephiroth called, swallowing a gulp of water, "You're blowing off training again?" Zack headed towards the General, Cloud slightly more hesitant now and walking slow enough that Zack actually grabbed an arm and all but dragged him to keep up across the long, mainly empty room.

"Absolutely, sir." his eyes sparkled, full of his characteristic mischief. As intimidating as Sephiroth might have been in battle, he really wasn't a bad guy, especially once you got to know him. Outside of battle, he was, more or less, a really nice guy, especially for someone in his position. He was a legend and barely any older than Zack. There was a lot of weight on his shoulders- he was, by far, the most talented soldier Shinra had. He was, for all intents and purposes, in his own class. He was short with people at times, but generally tolerant of the MPs when they came to admire. Admittedly, not the most social person in the world, but still more or less a nice guy.

"And this is the kid you were talking about?" when he smiled, Cloud's heart nearly stopped. That voice, the body, the eyes, and the hair... everything about him; How in the HELL could one man be so utterly gorgeous? And Zack had mentioned Cloud to him? He could've floated away at that moment had Zack not been holding his arm still.

"Yeah, this is Cloud."

"And I assume you already know of me. Good to meet you." it was a wonder that Cloud could make his hand work enough to take the General's when he held it out. His skin was rough and cold against Cloud's, slightly moist with sweat. Sephiroth actually let out a small chuckle as he pulled his hand back.

"I don't know what you see... he seems like a complete basket case to me." he smirked, looking Cloud over again, feeling a tiny bit of guilt when the boy's cheeks turned such a bright red.

"Aww, c'mon Seph. He's just nervous. You're like a god to these kids." Zack's assessment was right on the mark. Cloud had all but worshiped Sephiroth during his childhood, even aspiring to join SOLDIER so he could be like him.

"If you're not busy, how about you get a little training in?" Sephiroth's eyes narrowed, catching Zack's, "It'd be nice to have at least half a challenge for once." The taunt was enough and Zack let go of Cloud's arm.

"You're on." he grinned, then told Cloud to go sit at one of the benches mounted against the back wall, "hand to hand, Seph. I don't have my sword." it amazed Cloud that Zack could be so confident with the general- enough so to call him by something of a pet name.

"Fair enough." Sephiroth confirmed, setting the legendary masamune at the sidelines near a large gym bag and a few half-empty water bottles, "Hope you can deal with a sore ass for a few days."

With that, the battle had begun. Cloud had never seen anything like it before. Sephiroth's grace was just as prominent without the equally graceful blade. At the same time, Zack was impressive as hell. He was able to dodge most of Sephiroth's strikes with ease, connecting only a few less than Sephiroth.

Cloud had, for all the time he'd spent with Zack, never actually seen him in combat. It was an extraordinary experience to see two top-ranking Soldiers battling this way- even if it was just practice, neither held back. Soon enough, Cloud was cringing as the blows hit, and even letting out a cheer when one made a particularly outstanding move.

After quite a length, Zack was slowing. It was obvious to Cloud, and perhaps more-so to Sephiroth. The younger man had a great deal of stamina, but nothing compared to Sephiroth- a downfall the general depended on.

Zack's leg lifted quickly, aiming for a roundhouse kick only to have Sephiroth catch his calf an inch before contact.

"Nice try." his face curled into a grin and he pushed back forcefully. Cloud actually yelled when he saw Zack's body fly backwards something like a doll. Sephiroth dashed forward, and before the man had a chance to fall, a frighteningly powerful fist drove into his heart, plowing him into the ground.

"Zack!" Cloud's eyes went huge and he was running to Zack on the ground, motionless, sprawled near the center of the hard floor. Sephiroth knelt next to him, his expression unreadable. Cloud's nerves were high, eyes burning with frightened tears. Zack lay there, completely still, lips parted ever-so-slightly. "Is...he okay!?"

Sephiroth leaned close, putting his ear near Zack's face, an expression going hand-in-hand with concentration as he hushed Cloud. He swooped up slightly, fingers pressing against Zack's neck for a moment. Cloud watched the curse fall off Sephiroth's lips as he slid the suspenders from Zack's limp shoulders, tearing the sweater easily over his head.

"WHAT DID YOU DO!?" Cloud whimpered now, his fear from simply being near Sephiroth obviously fading, replaced by a far more pressing issue.

"Calm down, kid. I got a little carried away, alright!?" his voice was sharp now, frustrated, "It's already bruising, so at least there's blood flow."

"There better be! It's his damn heart!" Where did the confidence to speak to Sephiroth in such a way come from? Of course, Cloud wasn't exactly aware of much right now. He barely felt the hot tears that poured down his cheeks, and he had no idea when it became so damn cold in the room. He watched as Sephiroth pressed that icy hand onto the bruising skin of his friend's chest.

"He's fine." Sephiroth muttered at length, growling slightly as Cloud pushed for proof, begged Sephiroth to take him to the med bay, "You're such a damn kid." the general sighed, grabbing Cloud's hand and pushing it firmly where his own had been. His grip was harsh enough to hurt, though it didn't bother Cloud too terribly much. Worse was the embarrassment as Zack's eyes fluttered open, perhaps half a second after Cloud's hand was pressed down by Sephiroth, hard enough that it felt as though his friend's heart was in his palm.

"...Ugh... got me...again." Zack's words were punctuated by a cough, eyes watering, "...and Cloud! The hell? Don't fuckin' touch it...geez..." but as his hand went to push Cloud's away, it lingered for a moment, Zack's soft gray eyes catching Cloud's. It was at this moment that Cloud wondered how he could ever have thought Sephiroth to be the most beautiful in the room.

* * *

Zack's charm was finally paying off in a tangible way. It was past midnight when he finally found himself composed enough to return to Cloud's floor. He still hadn't come up with a way to explain the words he'd spoken earlier. Maybe he could just say he was tired, stressed, didn't realize what he was saying. He smirked to himself, only wishing it was true.

As for this charm, he had found his way to a nurse, young and nervous in appearance, probably someone new. She was tall, taller than him even, with a broad build, long, soft blond hair, and a cute face. At this point, of course, Zack would have flirted with her regardless of appearance, as he felt the need to see his friend. Cloud should be asleep by now. He would be safe.

"Sweetie... could I get you to do me the most giant favor?" he asked, winning a slight blush and a smile from the girl, as well as something along the lines of 'sure thing, hun' in a sweet drawl.

"I need to see my friend... we got in an argument earlier... and I feel real bad. I know visiting hours are over, but..." the best way to get in at this point was to let his guard down, he decided. He gave up the mask, showing the concern and hurt in his eyes. She became aware of just how swollen and pink they were, too. Poor thing had been crying, and she couldn't resist a boy so cute and so sad. She led the way to Cloud's room even though Zack knew the route by heart.

"Don't stay too long, sweetie. You could use some rest yourself, I'd say." she whispered, slipping the door open just enough for Zack to slide in. He thanked her quietly, closing the door as slowly as he could. The room was never dark, it would seem. The backlit monitors gave off an eerie glow that lit his friend's face in the most unnatural way.

Zack lowered quietly into the chair closest to the bed, looking at his friend. It was, he realized now, quite hard to tell if a man with bandaged eyes was, in fact, sleeping. watched the thin papery gown rise and fall with each slow, even breath, and took a look at the monitors, hoping that perhaps the numbers would be lower than during his usual visits, signaling rest. Of course, Zack was no doctor, and he hadn't any idea as to Cloud's typical vital signs for comparison.

"Cloud." he finally whispered, "Are you awake?" No response. Not a twitch of a finger or movement in the lip- no response at all. Zack let out a relieved sigh, letting himself smile and go on in his whisper- it's rather easy to explain yourself to someone if you don't think they can hear you.

"I'm sorry I ran out on you earlier," he whispered, hardly realizing it when he clasped Cloud's hand in his own. When had it become so boney? Was he this thin before? "But...y'know what...the thing is..." he swallowed deeply. Some things were tough to say whether the person could hear you or not, "...I really love you. And maybe that wasn't the right way to say it, but I do. And... I'm really sorry about _that._ Even more than about leaving you alone today." His voice trembled, and he would've probably let himself cry had he not felt a tightening on his hand, noticed a twitch in the lips before they parted to speak.

"I wish you wouldn't apologize for something like that."

Zack froze. He was awake! The little bastard had tricked him! What was he going to do now? He couldn't burst from the room and run again...he'd be banned for sure. His hand trembled, Cloud's tightening even more now.

"You _know _I love you. You have for years, now. Why does it scare you so damn much?" Cloud was surprised by himself. When had he become so bold? Tifa's words from earlier rang true.

_"He'll find out now, or he'll find out when it's too late."_ It was true in many senses.

"Then tell me this big damn secret. You say you love me, but you're keeping something damn important from me!"

Cloud's hand tightened once again, and Zack could tell that one of the monitor's constant tones had sped considerably. He nearly commented, but Cloud finally spoke;

"Zack...I'm... really sick."

"I know that much, Cloud." Zack offered gently, running his thumb across Cloud's knuckles, only to have Cloud pull his hand back sharply.

"No, Zack... you don't understand..." his voice shook as he spoke, barely above a whisper.

"Then tell me." Zack urged. His worries were mounting and obvious, and for once he was actually glad that Cloud couldn't see him, especially with the next words.

"I'm going to die, Zack. I'm fucking DYING."

((Finishing note: AHHHH. It feels really good to get this chapter done with. It was a really hard one to write, which I think is obvious in its badness. I'm starting to be sad for Cloud myself, even though I'm the one doing this to him! ;; Poor guy. When I first started, I never intended for him to become as ill as he is...it's becoming like a hospital drama or something!

Also, I like to involve Tifa. I planned to give her and Vincent a relationship, but I don't think I'll be allowed to develop it much since y!Gallery is all boyxboy all the time, I believe. Hmm. Anyways, thanks for reading, y'all. And on a side note, y!, I'm writing quite the graphic AU story about Cloud and Zack, so keep an eye out for it. y!Gallery exclusive, yo.))


	7. Attack

((A/N: Please don't kill me, you guys.))

The pain was like nothing he had ever felt before.

A sharp and constant stabbing in his head, just behind his eyes, temporarily blinding him at times was the torture he was going through now. Shinra had done plenty to him in the past, and with less than ideal side effects, but never had he felt a pain like this. To be honest, they had him so drugged up back then, he'd never felt much of anything.

The pain was coupled with an unnatural draw. He was overcome with the urge to travel to Midgar. As he walked, his feet moved without any conscious direction, though he seemed to be for over a day and a half on a direct path to the city. Sure, he stopped from time to time for nourishment, but in general such things were avoided.

The people feared him. He couldn't rightly say he blamed them. Quite often, he was reduced to death threats and violence just to get himself something to eat. And yet, the closer he got to Midgar, the less guilt he felt for these measures. In fact, the closer his destination became, the less he felt anything at all.

----

Pain began striking Zack only hours after Cloud's confession.

A headache was a given, the curse to accompany the tears that just wouldn't subside. The lightheadedness wasn't entirely shocking either. Cloud was dying. It couldn't be real. It seemed as though a shadow had been lain across his entire life. He drifted from place to place, unable to find a single word to express the sort of pain it left him with.

Physically, he felt weaker than he ever had in his life. So weak that he could not, in all fairness, attribute it entirely to Cloud's condition. He lay restless in the visitor's lounge, weary beyond all belief but unable to sleep. He shivered constantly, his skin turning icy cold. Was whatever Cloud had contagious? When the thought came to Zack, it was almost a comfort. He told himself that, if things kept going the way they were, he would die first.

Of course, he didn't mention the discomfort to Cloud. His friend had enough to worry about, and so long as he was blind, he wouldn't be able to tell that Zack's skin had become as ashen and pale as it was. He wouldn't notice the dark circles beneath his eyes nor the fact that he couldn't seem to keep himself warm, even with blankets piled on top of him.

Cloud could, however, tell that something was not right. He recognized a slight wheezing when Zack sat so close he could hear him breathing. He spoke in shorter sentences, often pausing for breath. And those times when Cloud took his hand, it was like ice. Cloud did not, however, experience the sure sign of a problem- Zack's own collapse.

Several days had passed since their conversation; It was around seven when he excused himself from Cloud's room, the first time he left without Vincent's command since Cloud was admitted. After all the time he'd spent freezing his ass off in that room, a sudden blast of heat hit him so hard he was sure he'd pass out. Last thing he needed was to check out right in front of Cloud. So there he was, in the hallway with Vincent watching, more concern in his eyes than Zack had ever seen.

"...You alright?" the fact that he was actually voicing concern for the often over-zealous young man would have set off an alarm in Zack's head had it been clear enough to register. However, from the moment he stood and as he stumbled into the hall, all he could focus on was the crushing pain in his chest.

"...yeh..." Zack tried to brush Vincent off, only to find that he was having trouble walking at all, much less pushing past him down the hall. In his mind, he could visualize a fiery hand gripping his heart, tight enough that its vital rhythm was reduced to little more than an irregular half-gallop raging between his ribs. His right hand found its way to a grip at his chest, whereas the left seemed suddenly to weigh about a ton and a half.

"Zack." Vincent was at his side just in time to catch the man as he crumpled into a heap before him.

----

"He had WHAT!?" Cloud could barely make sense of what Vincent was telling him. The worry had begun to creep up on him when Zack wasn't there when he woke up the next morning, only becoming worse when Vincent hadn't appeared at his normal time either. And now, as it turned out, his fears were well-founded. Zack had left his room only to promptly drop at Vincent's feet, with a _heart attack_!?

"Calm down." Vincent warned in his naturally well-kept tone. At the same time, he was well aware that it was probably quite hard to stay calm when your best friend and lover had nearly died just hours before. He sat back quietly as Cloud went on about how there must've been a mistake, how strong and healthy Zack had always been, how young he was- all things Vincent had already figured out himself.

"He's not...I mean, he's... he's still..." Cloud stumbled on his words, tongue thick in his mouth, a salty taste flooding it as he licked a few stray tears from his bottom lip. Even the bandages couldn't halt the heavy flow.

"He's in the intensive care unit." If any of this actually troubled Vincent, Cloud would never know, "He's stabilized, but he hasn't woken up yet." calm as ever, of course, leaning back in the chair though with little comfort. These events were disconcerting to say the least, and when he spoke to Tifa he learned of increasing rumors, a black-caped man making appearances closer and closer. This much, he decided, Cloud didn't need to know just yet.

"This can't be happening." the whimper in Cloud's voice actually caused Vincent to cringe. Such a reaction wasn't common with his friend- usually such a closed, quiet man, the sudden emotion was unheard of. "There's no _way_ this is happening. Not to him. No..._No!_"

---

_"Strife. I was wondering how long it would be until you showed up." Cloud was surprised Sephiroth regarded him at all when he entered the tiny waiting room. It was ice cold and he noticed that even the general had a heavy leather jacket on, "Of course, you're probably going to be admitted yourself wearing just that." _

_The administration thought it a good idea to supply heat only to patients' rooms. They were in SOLDIER, after all, and only Shinra personnel would be allowed visitation regardless. Being the middle of December, heat would have been ideal. He was called by one of Zack's friends- Reno, he recalled the name to be- only saying to get to the hospital...Zack was hurt._

_So he did just that. Without a second thought, he was running to the hospital wearing nothing more than his jeans, torn half to shreds and at least a size too small, and an old wife beater he'd borrowed from Zack's hamper. He had been, at the time, waiting in Zack's apartment, curled under the heavy comforter in the bed, watching some old Christmas movie while waiting for his friend, his **love**, to return from his latest mission._

_Instead, he was greeted with a phone call, and now with a SOLDIER general, who's face had a smear of blood on one cheek and bandage on his forehead at the other side._

_"What happened?" If Sephiroth was injured, he could only imagine that Zack was in a grave situation. Sephiroth just didn't get hurt. His skills were unmatched. That anyone would get a hit in on him was beyond Cloud's comprehension. Of course, most things were beyond his comprehension as he stood there, damp from the snow outside and the tears that all but froze to his face._

_"He's a damn fool." was Sephiroth's response. Cloud would have protested, but to be quite honest, he wasn't sure he didn't agree. As much as it pained him to admit it, the guy had a knack for getting in over his head. "We had some business to take care of in Wutai. Zack and Reno, fucking morons, decided to spend the night at Turtle's Paradise."_

_Cloud remembered hearing of the bar. Zack had mentioned before that it was his favorite part of being sent on the mundane Wutai peace-keeping missions; Good drinks and hot waitresses were always there for the taking, he said, if you had the cash._

_"The bar?" Cloud confirmed, only confused further. What the hell did Zack DO?_

_"Reno has a gift when it comes to pissing off the exact wrong person. The only smarts he has are in his mouth, and he doesn't know how to shut it." Still, nothing had really been explained to Cloud, though he tried to piece things together at this point._

_"So, he got in a bar fight?" relief was quick to call when this was confirmed. Just a bar fight- he probably got his face busted open, needed a few stitches, would be good to go by the next afternoon._

_"Yeah. Damn lucky I was passing by, too." Sephiroth muttered, sitting in one of the two chairs in the cramped room, signaling for Cloud to take the other, "By the time I found him, Reno was nowhere to be seen and Zack got himself stuck on the business end of a pretty impressive switchblade." There went the relief._

_"He was stabbed!?" Cloud tensed, gripping the armrests on the chair. The cold vinyl on his back caused him to shiver just as much as those words._

_"He got sliced pretty well. The guy was tough... high ranking in some crime syndicate. Toughest fight I've had in a while... when I finally got him down, Zack was in pretty poor shape. Reno had finally shown up again, just in time to try to pin the rap on someone else." The impression Sephiroth gave of the young Turk was far different than the one Zack had imparted. Given the situation, though, Cloud was more inclined to believe Sephiroth._

_"Will he...be okay?" Cloud could scarcely make his throat work. The words didn't want to form on his lips, and his voice didn't want to carry them out. He gripped the arms of the chair until his knuckles turned white, staring at the ground._

_"Damned if I know." Sephiroth muttered in return. "He lost a lot of blood, and the wound..." he actually paused now, considering just how much the boy could handle hearing, "...let's just say there are many better places to take a knife." _

_Cloud didn't know how to respond to it, so he didn't. A sort of numbness had taken hold, and he slumped back into the chair, staring at green linoleum tiles, slipping in and out of awareness for what seemed like many hours._

_It wasn't until Sephiroth took him by the shoulder that he found himself back in a conscious state. The older man explained that a doctor had come and talked to him, that it took a hell of a lot of explaining to convince him that Cloud wasn't, in fact, hurt as well. He told him that Zack had received well over a hundred stitches, but that his most vital organs had been missed, however narrowly. He then told Cloud to follow him into the ICU, and to be fucking prepared; that he wouldn't like what he saw._

_As soon as they reached the partition Zack was situated behind, everything Sephiroth told him rang true. He stood behind Sephiroth, out of view behind his larger frame, unable to hide the horror at the scene awaiting him. He saw gauze taped to his friend's chest, crisscrossing the tanned skin like a map of the most important organs in his body. He saw the swollen lip and one blackened, closed eye while the other greeted Sephiroth wearily, glassy and tired. He saw an IV running into Zack's arm, replenishing fluids and easing the pain. He traced wires from beeping machines to tiny adhesive circles pressed onto his chest, and saw the snaking tubes reach from an oxygen tank up into Zack's nostrils._

_"Nice job you did there, dumbass." Sephiroth growled. Cloud's eyes widened as he still hid, wondering silently how someone could speak to their friend in such a way when he apparently came damn close to getting himself killed._

_"Aww. Worried about your friend?" Zack returned, bloodstained lips turning into a smile, "nice to know you care." _

_"I saved your life, you ungrateful little jerk-off." Sephiroth smiled as well, however, something Cloud probably would have revealed himself to see if only he knew it to be happening._

_"I could've taken him." Zack laughed at his own pseudo-confidence, though it was punctuated with a cough._

_"I saw that." Sephiroth turned to look behind him though, rolling his eyes to see Cloud cowering behind him, hidden from view, "And I babysat your little boyfriend, too. I swear to GOD there's something wrong with this kid." he took Cloud by the shoulder again, pushing him in front of his legs, close to the bed. His cheeks went red and Cloud stared at the ground. He hated hospitals, he hated sickness, he hated seeing his friend in the condition he was in. It all felt so unnatural to him, awkward and uncomfortable, and more than a little frightening._

_Zack apparently felt only marginally more comfortable, looking away when he saw Cloud._

_"Why'd you bring him here, Seph?" he asked, the emotion in his voice something Cloud couldn't decipher. He was more than a little hurt, though, that Zack obviously didn't want to see him._

_"I didn't. Reno must've sent him." Sephiroth shot back, just as testily, "And you should watch your damn mouth. He's been worrying himself half to fuckin' death, and that's how you greet him?" Cloud's eyes widened the tiniest bit. Was Sephiroth actually standing up for him? _

_"Exactly. He shouldn't have known in the first place." it wasn't the most enjoyable experience in the world, being spoken about as if you weren't even in the room. Cloud remained silent though as Zack went on, "The last thing I need is for him to be involved in this kind of shit. I expect you made me sound plenty idiotic, too." _

_"Damn straight!" Sephiroth was shouting now, anger evident in his body, "It was an idiotic thing to do. You damn near got yourself killed, and for what? Reno's big mouth? Let him pay for that with his own ass." Cloud was surprised a nurse didn't come in to send Sephiroth away. His anger was becoming more and more obvious, while Zack's frustration was rising too, evidenced not just through his sharp words, but a heart rate jumping considerably on one of the monitors near the bed. If he could have worked up the nerve, Cloud would have liked to send Sephiroth away, to try and calm his friend. He was hurt, he needed to recover, and this wasn't helping._

_"He's my friend. I don't just leave my friends when they need me." Zack spat back. _

_"And what about him?" he gestured to Cloud, "Poor kid's way more dependent on you than your dumbass drinking buddy. But you came within an inch of abandoning him for good!" Zack and Cloud both cringed at this._

"_Stop it. Don't do this in front-"_

"_-why not?" Sephiroth interrupted harshly. "What is it that you say to him at night before you fall asleep? What do you tell me all the time, when I'm so bored by it I could quite happily die? What do you tell him before you fuck-"_

"_CUT IT OUT." Zack was yelling too, sitting up in the bed. He was about to say something else when Cloud, amidst the anger in the room and the fear he was left with, interrupted._

"_He doesn't." Both became quiet, staring at Cloud, head still bowed as he stared through tears at the floor, "He doesn't say anything to me, so don't say it. Please, just stop." his voice trembled as he fought off sobs, "He doesn't feel that way. Sir..." he looked up to Sephiroth finally. The general, notoriously non-empathetic, felt a knot in his stomach by the look on Cloud's face, "You're mistaken." _

"_Cloud!" Zack's voice was something of a whimper, guilt clear in his eyes. His appeal was ignored, though, Cloud still staring at Sephiroth, shocked by his own courage as he went on;_

"_But that does NOT mean that I don't feel it, so I'd really appreciate it if you could just leave him alone. He damn near died... he doesn't need this right now. Please." he was shaking so badly, Cloud was sure he would fall to the ground at any moment. Sephiroth studied the boy for a moment, expression blank, then looked back to Zack, far less empathetic to the tears on his cheeks._

"_Maybe he's not as bad as I thought." he admitted quietly, heading for the door, "for such an idiot, you're a damn lucky one."_

-----

Tifa couldn't believe what she had just seen. Her mouth had gone dry and her legs trembled as she sprinted down the hall. It was him. Sephiroth. Sephiroth was in the damn hospital! No. No. No. No. NO. She kept running, ignoring the elevator when the doors didn't open instantly, taking the stairs up to Cloud's ninth floor room.

She ignored the warnings of nurses as she sped through the hallways, not stopping until she was in Cloud's room, gasping for breath in the doorway, Vincent and Cloud both staring at her now. Neither had been speaking- Cloud lost in his memories until Tifa interrupted, Vincent half-asleep as he stayed by Cloud's side.

"What's going on?" Cloud asked, his voice cracking slightly when he spoke. Worry didn't creep up on him so much as it slammed into his face, tearing its way through his body. Something horrible had just happened. His mind, naturally went straight to Zack. _'Please, PLEASE...he has to be okay. don't let him be dead'_ he prayed silently to whatever deity cared to listen.

"Sephiroth." she panted, this catching Vincent's attention and causing him to sit up in his seat, urging her to continue. "he's... HERE."

Cloud could have kicked himself for feeling more relief than anything else.

----

"Se...phiroth..." Zack found his voice dry, throat painfully raw. He could hardly speak as he tried to make his eyes focus on the man at the foot of his bed. What had happened to him? The last thing he could remember was that searing pain, followed by darkness.

"You recognize me. Good." Sephiroth's voice was deeper than Zack remembered, his body more toned. While death had reduced Zack to nothing, it had apparently done wonders for his former friend. Of course, if Cloud was right with his explanation, Zack would be dead within the next few moments. Sephiroth the homicidal maniac... the ex-SOLDIER was shocked by the revelation, though he couldn't say it was implausible.

"What's happening to me?" Zack felt groggy, tired, almost hung over. It was quite the feat just to make his eyes focus properly even long enough to make Sephiroth's form apparent. Nothing made sense to him right now. Despite his weariness, his heart felt like a jackhammer in his chest, pounding recklessly until he was sure it would break out of his body all together.

"I...don't know." Sephiroth admitted quietly, "I found myself outside of the crater weeks ago... and I was drawn here. I didn't know what I was looking for, but I feel like I've found it here." he sat in the bed, not bothering to explain that, despite the fact that a warning was sounding on the EKG next to his bed, no nurse would be tending to him. They threatened to kill him...what else could he do but retaliate?

"I think you're killing us." Zack whispered, letting his eyes fall shut again, writhing painfully on the bed. His heart seemed to become ever more frantic, a dull ache setting in with its fervor.

"I think you're killing me." Sephiroth whispered in return, fingers rubbing the side of his head. More headaches... the last thing he needed was more headaches. And worse than ever. A dizzying pain taking over his body, and soon all was black. However, his body did not collapse, and the only difference Zack could discern was in the monotony of his voice as he spoke a single word,

"Reunion."

---

"_Cloud...come here, please..." Zack begged as Sephiroth left, snapping the curtain shut behind him. Cloud kept his eyes on the ground as he inched closer, slowly making his way to Zack's bedside. He was surprised by the warmth as Zack's hand wrapped around his. He assumed he would be cold, clammy, as if he were in fact on his deathbed. Instead, there was the familiar warmth he'd grown to appreciate quite quickly, "Please look at me." he whispered, leaning forward and tilting Cloud's chin upwards. It was a test of will for Cloud to look at him without turning his eyes away. His stomach ached to see Zack this way. In his mind, the guy was untouchable. Even Sephiroth had trouble beating him. Yet, here he was, tethered to a bed, only narrowly escaping death hours before._

"_Cloud, I love-"_

"_-You don't have to say that, Zack." he returned, actually pressing his two forefingers over Zack's lips, "I don't want you too feel like you have to tell me that. It's okay. I just wanted him to let you be." It was unexpected, to say the least, that Cloud now went on to crawl carefully into the bed, gently squeezing in next to his friend, finally taking his hand away. "Just be more careful with what you say... he seemed damn convinced." Cloud actually sounded guilty as he said this, avoiding Zack's gaze even though he was now quite close to the man and soon drawn in closer._

"_Listen to me, Cloud. And don't even think of interrupting." he scooted away just far enough to look down into Cloud's eyes again, "I love you. End of story. I don't care if he doesn't believe it. I'd like to say I don't care if you believe it, either, but that would be a lie. I want you to believe me, but I can't make you. I can just tell you over and over again that I do." He paused, considering his next words as he ran his fingers through Cloud's hair, the large plastic clip on his finger only slightly in the way. _

"_If I didn't... I probably wouldn't be here at all." he admitted quietly, cheeks reddening. This time Zack was the one to look away, "It's not the first time I've been really, badly hurt since I've been in SOLDIER, Cloud." he swallowed deeply, forcing himself to look into the shimmering, tearful blue eyes again, "Just the first time I've had every reason to avoid it." _

----

To Cloud, the memory felt so fresh it could have happened moments ago. He could still taste the hints of blood on Zack as he sealed the admission with a kiss, still feel the warmth of his body as his own was freezing. He could still remember the worry he felt back then, and was sure that it was a hundred times worse now.

These thoughts, swirling in Cloud's mind along with Tifa's admission, along with his worry for the two who had rushed out almost as quickly as Tifa had burst in to try and figure out what was going on, they stuffed his mind and wouldn't leave.

There wasn't a distraction from his anxiety until, quite suddenly, a sharp pain surged from his head, down his neck and through every inch of his body. As though every muscle in his body had tensed and cramped at once, with no signs of letting up. His hands began to shake uncontrollably, breaths becoming shallow and rapid when he could make them come at all. His pulse pounded painfully in his temples, and the thundering of his own heart was nearly deafening, drowning out anything else in the room.

He had no way of knowing that, the moment this attack had begun, he was as close to that memory as he had been since it happened. Sephiroth stood at the foot of his bed, laying Zack's motionless body across Cloud's legs. His eyes hard darkened, and were Zack awake and Cloud not blind, they would see that, without a doubt, Sephiroth's mind was not his own.

"And now..." the voice came from the doorway, something vaguely familiar to Cloud, though he could hardly hear it and was far from stable enough to place it, "...I can have my reunion."


	8. Love

-1((A/N: Thanks for not killing me, you guys. I really appreciate it. Dedicated to all my awesome fans who kept reviewing and reading even though it was kinda shitty. 'Specially hittocere, lemon, crazyartist, niji, and Jade. 33

Also, tons upon tons of thanks to Xiaa (http://xiaa. who allowed me to use her image as my thumbnail on y!gallery. Also she's the bomb and I love her dearly and will one day convince her to marry me at Disney World just so I can get married to a girl at Disney World.

I actually did a teensy bit of research, but if I'm mistaken and you catch it, let me know.))

_"Excellent." Hojo's lips curled into a smile and he pushed the wire-framed glasses closer to his face as he went over the file just delivered to him. "Yes, he is an even better candidate than I had hoped." He let out a short cackle, setting the folder aside. "And you informed Strife?"_

_"They've already been reunited." Reeve confirmed, feeling a certain discomfort as he sat in the stiff chair in front of Hojo's desk. This kind of work really wasn't all that new to him. His relationship with Cloud and the others had always been one of betrayal, yet slivers of guilt pricked through. This could be avoided by reminding himself just how much he was making off of this deal._

_"Perfect...perfect." the scientist let out another one of his cackles, punctuating with a fist onto the desk, "all is going as planned. Strife's body is young and strong, the perfect host," how many times had Reeve heard the explanation? Yet, he didn't dare interrupt, "And Fair... his heart is stronger than any other's, in more than one sense." And finally, his most important ingredients, "Sephiroth's body has been stirring. His soul is weak and his conscience nearly non-existent. I can form it as I like." another laugh. Reeve had to steel himself not to cringe at it. "And the mind. MY mind. I will be unstoppable. Bound together by Jenova's cells, the reunion is already well underway. You administered the serum, correct?" his joviality ceased for a moment as Hojo's eyes locked with Reeve's, suddenly harsh and serious._

_"I personally injected the Soldier. Cloud's was slipped through a drink. The effects should take as soon as Sephiroth is near enough for the Jenova cells to react."_

"_Perfect. Before long, I will have my reunion."_

----

"Perfect." the whisper slipped through Hojo's lips as his cold, gloved fingers traced a line down his patient's jawbone, resting on his neck. A grin broke out as the fingers pressed firmly to the unconscious man's carotid artery, counting the strong, steady pulse. "Utterly perfect."

Hojo's plan couldn't have been going better. Three tables stood in a row in the middle of the room- Cloud's now fully paralyzed body furthest to the right, Zack, who he stood above now, in the center, and Sephiroth furthest left. Honey-colored eyes, wide with enjoyment, swept over the body laid in front of him. All three were completely nude, the only exception being a cloaking of monitors attached to each, and a thin covering below the waist for Cloud and Sephiroth. A cackle broke from his throat as his fingers slid further, pressing firmly into the soft skin concealing the prized possession he would soon be taking from his subject.

"Such a strong heart...it will be of great service." he spoke to the all-but lifeless Zack, leaning close to his ear only to let out another of his screeching laughs. A mask had already been fixed over his face, and a set of surgical instruments prepared and set up near the bed, "I hope you've made your peace." he added, reaching over to a machine and twisting a dial, ensuring Zack's continued sleep.

He took the scalpel from the tray, gripping it firmly as he traced the path of the incision lightly down Zack's chest, from the base of his collarbone to the top of his navel, a thin crimson line of blood springing forth as the blade slid across the skin. Hojo noted, though did not remedy the fact that the steady heart rate had jumped considerably on the screen near the bed. As long as Zack was sedated, his comfort mattered little.

The blade started again at the base of his neck, this time slicing in deep, cutting through thick layers of flesh. Hojo pushed the blade on down, working easily through the resistance. It wasn't until he had dragged the blade a good four inches that he stopped abruptly, interrupted by less-than-comfortable sensation of a pistol being jammed into the back of his neck.

-----

_"How are you feeling?" Vincent would have been perfectly happy to answer Reeve's question with a fist tot he nose, though he resisted the urge, letting out little more than a low grunt. Reeve had, after all, ambushed Vincent and Tifa in the hall as they left Cloud's room. Vincent wasn't sure exactly what he'd been hit with, but when he came to he was certain he took it to the back of the skull, and that Tifa had too- still unconscious on the bed next to him._

_"What the hell is going on here, Reeve?" It was hard for Vincent not to show the betrayal he felt. After all the help he'd provided to Reeve and his WRO, this was his reward? And if Reeve was trying to take the two out, it wasn't a far leap to figure that he was somehow involved with the whole mess with Cloud, Zack, and Sephiroth._

_"It's Hojo. I don't know what the hell he's doing, exactly, but-"_

_"Hojo?" Vincent interrupted, eyes fixing on Reeve's, "How is he-?"_

_"I don't know. But I know that he wants to use Cloud, Zack, and Sephiroth...something to do with a reunion...making him into some sort of god..." Vincent's eyes narrowed as he forced himself to swing his legs over the bed, slowly rising to his feet._

_"And you know all of this because..." he prompted, quickly turning so that he blocked the way between Reeve and the door. History should have spoken for itself, but Vincent gave the man the benefit of the doubt once already. He wasn't about to let the rat escape before answering his questions._

_"...I was working for him." Reeve admitted quietly, eyes shifting away from Vincent's, "but listen, there's really not any time for you to get upset."_

_"I won't need much time." Vincent replied coolly, but let the younger spy go on._

_"You have to get to him quick. The plan is to remove Zack's heart, then put it into Cloud. I... just get there before it's too late, alright?" The shame was apparent in his eyes as the flittered towards Vincent's, then away again. _

_"Just make sure you're well hidden by the time I finish with him._

_----_

"I'd suggest you don't move a muscle." Hojo's body tensed. That voice... Vincent Valentine. He cursed himself for thinking he could get off so easily. _Reeve. _He should have known better than to trust him. He had little time to consider any of this, though, as he heard a low clicking, the hammer of the gun being pulled back.

"Now, now...it'd be best if you just calmed down..." Hojo let out a nervous laugh, raising his hands weakly above his head, scalpel still clutched tightly.

"Drop it." Vincent commanded, jabbing the gun again and slamming a hand onto the doctor's shoulder. He lowered the gun slowly, a mistake he would soon recognize as Hojo, in turn, lifted his elbow sharply, knocking the weapon away long enough for him to turn around, slashing harshly across Vincent's face.

"Wrong move." it was literally a growl ripping from his throat, and Hojo only realized his err upon noticing the sudden glow fierce in his crimson eyes. The blood dripping from his cheek was further contrasted as his skin seemed to take on a blue cast, the transformation already underway.

"Look, hey...uh...c'mon now..." his attempts at a bargain fell on deaf ears.

----

_"How're ya feeling?" Zack's voice was soft as he ran his fingers softly across Cloud's forehead. He had broken out with a fever before they ever arrived at icicle in for the training exercises and was ordered to spend the day in bed. Now he lay in the heated cabin, heavy comforter pulled up to his chin, shaking badly even as his temperature continued to climb._

_"I'm gonna die." Cloud groaned, curling his knees even closer to his chest, assuming a fetal position. He let out a whimper, a fresh wave of stabbing pain shooting through his abdomen. The pain was what really kept him down- a fever was easily ignored, as was the mild headache. The pain, however, was nearly unbearable._

_"Don't be stupid." Zack spoke firmly, edging his chair closer to Cloud's bed, "it's probably just a flu. They sent for a doctor anyway." It was easier to scold Cloud and try to brush his condition off than to face the possibility that something could really be wrong. The boy's skin was pale and clammy, though his temperature was through the roof. Zack couldn't help but become anxious. They'd called for the physician while still en route and now, hours later, no word. He would have made a comment, but as soon as he opened his mouth to do so, a small woman burst through the door, carrying beneath her arm a large leather satchel. She wore a white coat, like something he imagined doctors in a hospital must be outfitted with, and had thick rimmed glasses that slid down her nose and fogged instantly in the warmth of the room. She was short and wide, with eyes a size too big for her face and a mess of shortly cropped brown hair soaked with snow._

_"This is the sick boy?" she asked, shuffling across the floor until she stood next to Zack._

_"Yeah..." he rose from his chair, gently shaking her hand when extended to him. "His fever's still the same, and he has a pretty bad stomach ache."_

_"Pretty bad!?" Cloud grumbled between groans, "unbearable." he corrected with a tiny whimper. The sound made Zack's stomach tighten. While he hoped Cloud was being melodramatic, the pain the boy seemed to be in hit him deep either way._

_The doctor moved close to Cloud, setting her bag on the chair where Zack had sat. She pulled down the blanket to his waist, revealing that he was, at least that far, already undressed. A slight redness rose to Zack's cheeks as he looked Cloud over- his chest expanding quickly and deeply with each breath, trails of sweat running down from his hairline and streaking his chest. He couldn't help but notice the way his lips trembled as he let out breath, or how he had to lick his lips from time to time to keep them from chapping completely._

_'Stop!' he had to force himself to look away. What was he doing thinking about Cloud that way right now? He was sick and miserable and suffering, and all Zack could think of was how badly he would have liked to take the boy. He stopped himself again, cursing under his breath and actually closing his eyes as he heard the doctor command Cloud to do this or that. Take a deep breath here, explain what felt there, open his mouth widely, keep the thermometer under his tongue. His eyes shot open, though, as Cloud let out loud, pained screech._

_"What's wrong!?" Zack demanded quickly, close to his side again at once._

_"She fuckin' jammed her hand into me! Psycho!" despite his harsh words, the doctor seemed to take it in stride, standing and grabbing the thermometer from his mouth._

_"I'm calling for an ambulance." she announced, "It looks like appendicitis. See you in a bit." And with that, she strode from the room, saying it all as if there were nothing wrong at all._

_"What!?" Both called after her, but with no response. Zack sat on the bed, though, close enough for Cloud to grab onto, tears in his huge blue eyes._

_"They're going to cut me open..." he whispered, lower lip trembling. His hands gripped onto Zack's arm, hands cold as ice, "I don't want them inside me." Zack's eyes closed slightly, his heart aching at Cloud's fear as he pulled the boy close._

_"It's gonna be fine, Cloud. Don't worry about it." he whispered into his ear, fingers running through his sweat-matted hair._

_"Promise?" Cloud whispered into his chest, so low that he wasn't sure Zack would hear him._

_"Of course." he responded with a slight nod, "Just hang in there, alright? Everything will be okay." He spoke without considering the words, doing anything he could think of to calm his ailing love. _

_"Zack...if something-"_

_"shhh." he put a finger over Cloud's lips before he had the chance to protest. "I'd never lie to you. I love you. And I swear, no matter what, as long as I'm here, nothing will EVER happen to you. I promise." _

_-----_

"...Cloud..." the word rolled from Zack's lips before he even realized it was a dream- a memory, that their situation right now was far more dire. The first thing he noticed was that the pain once plaguing him had changed completely. While he could feel his heart thumping deeply in his chest, it brought no pain; Rather, it felt like someone had indeed sliced his chest open...at least half way.

"You're awake." The voice that greeted him sounded grave, somehow drained. His eyes forced themselves open, then squinted shut again when greeted by a familiar, far-too-bright light. When he was able to focus, he noticed Vincent at his side, slumped in a chair. Blood stained his face, and his eyes appeared pink, slightly swollen. Were it anyone else he'd swear the man was crying. When he glanced on the other side, he saw Sephiroth, sitting hunched forward on the other table, unblinking, face damp. What the hell was going on? Looking again, he saw past Vincent to Cloud.

"CLOUD!"

-----

_"This serum will negate the effects of the poisons I administered before." Reeve explained, handing Vincent the vial and syringe, "Zack...will probably be out for a while still. He was under an anesthetic when you came upon Hojo. The other two should awaken within minutes." he went on, watching as Vincent went to Cloud first, pumping a dose of the liquid into his veins, then went on to the other two, pausing a moment before Sephiroth._

_"He deserves to atone with pain." he growled in a low voice._

_"You know as well as anyone that Sephiroth hasn't been in control of that body in years." Vincent finished the injection before Reeve was forced to do it for him._

_"I want to know why this keeps happening." Vincent's voice was low, somehow defeated. With the exception of Cloud, all of these men had been dead before, most of them more than once. How was it, then, that no matter what they did, they kept coming back?_

_"According to Hojo, it's all part of the Reunion theory. So long as the majority of Jenova's cells continue to survive, their hosts are, more or less, invincible." he paused for a moment, Cloud stirring in his bed. When he seemed to go back to sleep, he went on, "These four- Cloud, Sephiroth, Zack, and Hojo, are the only known carriers of any substantial amount of the cells. Those with trace amounts will die as any other and will not return to life. However, so long as there is enough of a presence, Jenova will regenerate herself." Vincent frowned at this explanation._

_"But Zack, Sephiroth, Hojo...they were all dead. That means-"_

_"-That I'm the primary carrier." Cloud's voice startled both Reeve and Vincent. They looked over silently as Cloud sat up in bed, pulling away the bandages that hid his once again seeing eyes, an expression of guilt overwhelming his features. "I'm the reason that, no matter how hard we try, nothing is enough. So long as I'm alive,"_

_"Cloud..." Vincent tried to interrupt, but to no avail._

_"So will be Sephiroth and Hojo. And so long as They're alive, Jenova's influence on them will continue to thrive, and our safety will never exist." Sephiroth had sat up by now too, watching Cloud and considering his words._

_"Then why can't he fight the influence?" Reeve spoke up now, turning to look at Sephiroth, who said nothing._

_"It's not that simple. She manifests herself in you, feeds on you, and controls you. Once she has taken control even once... you know your body is her's forever. Even when you are you... there's always that little something in the back of your mind, or the front with Sephiroth, that says, 'Never forget- you belong to me'." There was no response for a long moment. Vincent looked at Reeve, then Sephiroth, then back at Cloud. Finally, he spoke up;_

_"Then what do we do?"_

_"There's no question, really." Cloud's head turned downwards, his voice soft, "The threat... must be eliminated."_

_"No!" Reeve spoke up quickly this time, head shooting up as his body came to a stand before he realized what he was doing, "There has to be another way!" After all was said and done, Cloud was the cause of all the problems? He couldn't swallow it. There was no way fate could be so cruel._

_"Stop." Cloud spoke firmly, his face becoming serious, "I've been thinking for a while... since I learned Sephiroth might be back, and this really confirms it. I'm the cause of all these problems. It's time for me to step up and end it once and for all." while his voice was strong, his hands trembled as he gripped the end of the bed and his heart raced a mile a minute. He didn't want to die. That much was for sure. However, more than he desired his own life, he desired Zack's._

_It was a fair trade._

--------

"What...No... NO!" Zack wasn't sure how he made it from his own bed over to the one where Cloud's lifeless body lay. "This isn't true! He's not dead! HE'S NOT!" he sobbed, crying out loudly as his hand wrapped around Cloud's cold one. He pulled away almost instinctively lashing out and knocking over the IV pole and monitor set up next to the bed, causing a magnificent crash. He drove his fist into the wall, screaming again, a low guttural cry that tore itself from deep within him.

"How could you let this HAPPEN!?" His fingers were wet with blood, last remnants of life that came from Cloud's wrist as he had taken his hand for just a moment. "WHAT DID YOU FUCKING DO!?" his voice was already rough and hoarse as he lashed towards Sephiroth this time, only to be caught in the general's arms, pulled close even as he punched into his stomach, writhed in his arms, screaming for moments more before his entire body let out a shudder and he broke into deep sobs, letting his body collapse into Sephiroth's.

"No..." he whimpered, over and over again. No matter what he said, what he did, Cloud was gone. Cloud had died- he fell asleep, left his friend defenseless and alone, and now he was dead. Gone forever. None of it would click together for him. The cold, half-dried blood on his wrist... Cloud had done this to himself? He couldn't have. It couldn't be possible. This couldn't be real. It had to be a dream. A nightmare. He would wake up soon, everything would be okay. Or at least Cloud wouldn't be gone. All the same, he found himself clinging to the silent General. When had Sephiroth become so comforting to him? But as he thought back, his memory foggy, his entire mind apparently refusing to function properly, he could scarcely remember a time Sephiroth, when in his right mind, hadn't been there for him.

"This isn't real..." he tried saying it again, but his head still pounded, he still felt like he was covered in ice, and Cloud still lay on the bed across the room from him, lifeless. As his trembling subsided, Zack pulled away from Sephiroth, returning to Cloud's side.

"What did you do?" he whispered into his friend's ear, tears still rolling down his cheeks, "What kind of damn fool thing did you do?" he repeated, but this time found himself crawling silently into the bed beside him, pulling the body close. It was something like holding a life-sized rag doll in his arms- cold and unresponsive, lacking that warmth that came with life. He laid next to him, running his fingers through the soft blond hair, tracing the silent features of his face, down his neck and across his collar. He gazed into the just-barely open eyes, stunned how dim they had grown, the mako-induced glow a distant memory. The breath caught in his throat as, by the second, the reality of the situation sunk in.

He let his hand come to a rest on the chest that would no longer rise and fall with breath, over a heart that would never again beat.

"Cloud." he whispered into his friend's- his lover's ear once more, "I love you."

-----

"_Don't you think you should at least wait until he's awake?" Reeve's voice was low as he set a new bottle and syringe on the table next to the bed Cloud sat on. Vincent and Sephiroth had been forced from the room, and Reeve would be sent out soon enough._

"_He'd only try to stop me." Cloud replied, checking the bottle before setting it back on the table. Adenosine. The drug was commonly used to correct heart arrhythmias, though with the dose he would inject, it would stop his heart completely within minutes._

"_That's my point." Reeve muttered in a low voice, meeting Cloud's eyes again. "You don't have to do this, Cloud. Listen to me,"_

"_No, Reeve." He spoke firmly, "I do have to do this. Now please... I have to make my peace." Reeve seriously considered fighting him- knocking the guy out, making sure he was somewhere protected, far away from anything that he could use to hurt himself, but what was the point? Deep down, just as Sephiroth and Vincent had recognized in themselves, he knew that Cloud was right._

_This was the only way._

_Cloud watched Reeve leave the room before crossing to the door and closing it behind him. He gazed at the floor as he headed to Zack's bed, grabbing the discarded scalpel that lay near what remained of Hojo's body. It was soaked in blood- Vincent's, Hojo's, Zack's? It didn't matter. Here he was, standing completely naked in a hospital room, about to kill himself. What did it matter if one of the instruments of his demise was dirtied?_

_He paused, though, at Zack's bed, guilt surging through him as he looked over Zack's calm, resting features. He steeled himself, not wanting to imagine the reaction the man would have when he awoke to find that the man he had called his love was dead._

"_I'm sorry." Cloud's voice was barely above a whisper as he leaned forward, touching his lips softly to Zack's, a tear falling from his cheek onto the peacefully sleeping beauty. He reached to the table, where a thick folder lie, pen clipped to the outside. Making his way to the bed- his deathbed- he combed through the pages, finding an empty yellow page torn from a notepad near the back._

_He took the pen and began to write. He had to explain what he was doing, even if it wouldn't help. Even if Zack would still, over time, hate him for what he had to do, at least he could explain himself. He filled the paper in a small, hurried scrawl, tossing the folder and pen away as he finished. He folded the paper neatly, tucking it halfway beneath his pillow as he lay back on the bed, pulling the cover up to his waist, fingers trembling._

_He took the scalpel, surveying his wrist. He traced with his fingers first the vein running down from the base of his hand. He swallowed deeply, pressing the blade to the tip, closing his eyes as he pressed deeply, only opening them when he felt the sensation of warm blood running down his arm. He traced the line deeply, scarcely able to breath as he finally pulled back. There...one down. A drowsiness was already setting in, which he took as his signal to continue, before he botched the entire process._

_He switched the scalpel to his left hand now, again dragging the sharp blade in line with the vein. Blood seemed to pour, staining his arms, dripping onto the sheets. Yet, for the first time since he had awoken, he felt calm. At ease. Peaceful, even._

"_I'm...very sorry." he whispered, glancing over at Zack again as he took the syringe and filled it from the bottle. He pushed the needle hard into the developed muscle of his left pectoral, sliding it deeply between the ribs until he felt a sharp pinch, hard enough to make him gasp as his heart skipped a beat. He closed his eyes now, depressing the plunger fully before quickly pulling the needle out, letting it fall to the ground. Already, he could feel the life slipping from him as he lay back on the pillow._

_The warmth was leaving his body through his wrists, his heart, before much like a jackhammer, was coming slowly to a halt. He gazed to the side again, watching Zack who slept perfectly still, now convinced that his last image should be one of beauty._

"_I love you."_

_-----_

"You shouldn't spend so much time out here. You'll get sick." Zack didn't respond to Sephiroth's warning, rather remained where he sat cross-legged on the frozen ground, staring at the cold granite stone that bore the name of his love.

"I'll come in soon. Just give me a little longer." he finally said, not looking back. A sigh escaped the general's lips, but he didn't protest. He knew the pains of a broken-heart, one that only got worse every day, and as much as he hated Zack for leaving him with this curse, he couldn't bear to worsen the man's pain by voicing his own.

"Just don't catch pneumonia." His breath hung in the air as Sephiroth gave the younger man a warning before heading out of the churchyard, cringing only slightly as he had to walk through what was all but home to the woman he'd murdered.

"Cloud." Zack leant forward, running his cold fingers over the engraved name. In his free hand, he held a piece of yellow paper, torn from a note pad, folded neatly as it had been when he came across it. It never left his pocket save when he felt the need to read it- to remind himself of the man he lost.

Another piece of paper he held along in his hand, this one white, borrowed from the fax machine in Tifa's bar. He spent the better half of the day writing it, and now al that was left was to deliver it. Another message to the one he loved. He'd written at least a dozen, and thrown each away. It wasn't until now, half a year later, that he finally felt the words were right, that he could leave his proper goodbye.

"I'm so sorry that this took so long." he whispered, setting the piece of paper onto the top of the marker, putting a stone on top of it to keep it in place, "I hadn't forgotten, I swear. I just needed it to be right." he went on, putting on a slightly pathetic smile. He leaned in again, pressing his lips softly to the memorial, sitting this way for a moment before finally standing, only to be greeted by a gale of icy wind stinging his now teary eyes.

He turned, looking back at the marker again before heading through out of the small churchyard. He dug his hands into his pockets, looking up at the gray skies. From above, almost the moment he gazed into the dark heavens, large heavy flakes of snow began to fall, one after another, clinging to him, melting the moment they touched his skin.

Zack stopped once again before continuing back towards the bar he now called his home. He stared up, unblinking, whispering as the wind took his voice;

"I love you."

----

_Zack-_

_I know that you hate me for this, and I'm sorry. _

_Reeve and Vincent can fill you in on the details. I don't have the time to waste on that. What I want to tell you is that I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I'm too much of a coward to wait and tell you this to your face. I'm sorry that there's no other way to save you. Most of all, I'm sorry that I've hurt you._

_You called me your lover. I wanted that to be true- more than that to be true, even. I want you to remember me as a friend and a companion, a lover, and a soulmate. But I can't ask you to do that. You can remember me as a coward, a quitter, someone you hated, and someone you still do. I just ask...that you remember me as something. Please don't forget me._

_And for all of the horrible things I've done, and that you will remember me for...please recall just one more thing._

_I love you, Zack._

_As much as it hurts me to say it, and it will hurt you to read it, I love you._

_I'm sorry for that above all else._

_-Cloud_

((( What a depressing ending. Once again, thank you to EVERYONE who followed this story all the way through. You guys are the best. Just two little things.

ONE- I'm changing my FFNet name in a few days to "CloZackPASSION" so if you get weird author alerts or something, that's me. Also, if you wanna read more things when I post them, that's me. hehe.

TWO- For any of you who understand the reference in the title of this story, you should know well enough that you have something to look forward to. That's all I'll say on that. 3 CloTi/CloZack/Crimsonbutterfly/Longislandteaparty))


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